It’s no wonder Bob Knight abruptly retired from coaching this season and ditched passed his responsibilities to his son, Pat Knight.

This Texas Tech team has some issues. Kansas strafed the Red (Faced) Raiders 109-51 in Lawrence, Kan., Monday night.

That is the worst loss in school history, topping the 44-point drubbing Texas Tech absorbed from Texas A&M last week. This was also the worst conference beating in Big 12 history.

Thanks, dad.

“I feel like someone put a meat necklace around my neck and threw me into a lion’s den,” Pat Knight told reporters after this latest fiasco. “They killed us. The thing that upsets me again, just like the A&M game, is that we didn’t compete. I had guys that I honestly thought looked scared when they got out there on the court. Not one guy showed up tonight.”

Kansas coach Bill Self tried to call off the dogs. He emptied his bench, using 16 players. All but one of them scored.

Nobody could blame seldom-seen reserves like Jeremy Case for pouring it on, dropping one three after another on this hapless foe.

“I warn them, and I talk to them, and I beg them, but I can’t play for them,” Knight said. “What I need to do is have a heart and brain transplant during a timeout. But I can’t do that. They have to learn from it. I told them you can’t play casual basketball in the Big 12 or you’ll lose by 20 or 40 points.”

Oddly, Texas Tech wedged an 83-80 upset over Texas between the two horrific losses.

As for Pat’s dad he is preparing for his new career. “Can you believe Bob Knight is going to be a television analyst during ESPN’s NCAA Tournament coverage?” Orlando Sentinel columnist Mike Bianchi. “I can hardly wait for the moment when he tries to choke Digger Phelps or stuff Jay Bilas into a trash can.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while counting the days until Anna Kournikova plays for the St. Louis Aces this summer:

• Now that Tony La Russa and Ray King have cleared the air, what’s next for diplomats? Negotiating a détente with Scott Rolen?
• Did the Blues watch highlights of Washington’s 10-2 victory over Boston? Did any of the forwards take notes?
• With the Athena Nightclub closed in Columbia, where will athletes go to get in trouble?

WHY THE CUBS ARE THE CUBS

“I anticipated a real easy spring training here with the Cubs,” manager Lou Piniella told the Chicago Tribune the other day. “Is there such a thing as an easy Cubs spring training?”

No, there isn’t. Alfonso Soriano is out with a broken finger. A heart problem has sidelined Mark DeRosa. Jason Marquis popped off. Piniella fired back.

It’s the same old same old in Cubdom.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Jeff Schultz, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “Welcome to the NFL circle of life. It makes no exception for the respected, the admired, or the sometimes brilliant. It makes no exception for Warrick Dunn. He was brought here believing he could help the Falcons win a Super Bowl, but six years later finds himself being escorted to the curb, still with two legs, 10 fingers and no rings.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Alabama coach Nick Saban is embattled over a recent wave of disciplinary problems, including the arrest of All-Southeastern Conference safety Rashad Johnson for allegedly pushing a security guard to the ground outside a bar. There is debate within the program whether Johnson should officially be credited with a tackle.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “So much for ‘Moneyball’: None of the top 100 minor league prospects, as rated by Baseball America, were originally drafted/signed by the A’s.”

Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times: “No offense, but the Bears have no offense. Five days into free agency, I still don’t see a quarterback, a wide receiver, a running back or a protective front, though I do see a kicker angling for a contract extension because touchdowns will be pipedreams. I am not joking when I say tickets should be half-price, nor am I yanking your chain in suggesting they’ll never move the chains.”

MEGAPHONE

“I think I had my last drink in November. It came prior to being hired by the Blackhawks, and I don’t know why the timing. Right around the holidays. It just happened. When I stopped drinking, it never bothered me. When I played, I drank beer to keep my weight and was drinking by the gallon. After I got to the point where I couldn’t exercise like I did when I was playing, I started to drink red wine. And I enjoyed the red wine as much as I did the beer. But all of a sudden, I’m not drinking anything, and it’s not bothering me. There’s something not right. I should miss something. I should want a drink.”

Bobby Hull, telling the Chicago Sun-Times about his lifestyle revisions.