Sportsmanship is not dead. It might be on life support these days, but it is not dead.

It took a pair of Division II college softball teams in the Pacific Northwest to point this out.

Western Oregon senior Sara Tucholsky – a pint-sized, light-hitting outfielder — jacked a three-run homer against Central Washington. In her exuberance over the once-in-a-blue-moon blast, she blew out a knee near first base.

As she lay in a heap, her teammates and coaches faced an unhappy reality: She would have to crawl back to first base, downgrade her hit to a two-run single and leave the game for a pinch-runner.

Her teammates and/or coaches could not help her around the bases. They could not even touch her in the base paths without ending the play.

Then Central Washington star Mallory Holtman spoke up. What if she and a teammate carried Tucholsky around the bases? Wouldn’t she get her home run?

Yes, that was the rule. An opponent can touch the runner without killing the play. So Holtman and Liz Wallace picked her up and gingerly got her around the bases to a standing ovation.

“Honestly, it’s one of those things that I hope anyone would do it for me,” Holtman told ESPN.com. “She hit the ball over her fence. She’s a senior; it’s her last year . . .  I don’t know, it’s just one of those things I guess that maybe because compared to everyone on the field at the time, I had been playing longer and knew we could touch her, it was my idea first. But I think anyone who knew that we could touch her would have offered to do it, just because it’s the right thing to do. She was obviously in agony.”

The absurdity of the situation did strike all the players involved.

“We all started to laugh at one point, I think when we touched the first base,” Holtman said. “I don’t know what it looked like to observers, but it was kind of funny because Liz and I were carrying her on both sides and we’d get to a base and gently, barely tap her left foot, and we’d all of a sudden start to get the giggles a little bit.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while Troy Glaus tries to regain his breath after his rare sprint around the bases:

• So what’s next for Roger Clemens, a new “friendship” with Miley Cyrus?
• Why would Randy Moss form a NASCAR Craftsman Truck series team? Won’t his drivers race at half-speed unless Bill Belichick is there to lean on them?
• At this point, can anybody stop the Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin express?

WHY WE LOVE HOCKEY

This item came over the Associated Press wire:

“SCRANTON, Pa. — The captain of the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins was charged with indecent exposure after a police officer saw him running naked on a downtown street early Sunday, and a teammate was arrested for public drunkenness.”

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Steve Rosenbloom, ChicagoSports.com: “The Raiders released Dominic Rhodes, one of the guys who killed the Bears in the Super Bowl. Going from the Super Bowl to the street in two years — can you imagine that? As a matter of fact, Cedric Benson better start imagining that.”

Chris Foster, Los Angeles Times: “The Wonderlic test, used by the NFL to try to weed out wonder-whats from the wunderkinds, came into play again over the weekend, as USC’s John David Booty and Kentucky’s Andre Woodson reportedly had the lowest scores among drafted quarterbacks — 14 out of a possible 50. A quick check of the average for everyday professions: chemist, 31; programmer, 29; journalist, 26; sales, 24; bank teller, 22; clerical worker, 21; security guard, 17; warehouse, 15. Of course, any test that ranks journalists above warehouse workers has to be taken with a grain of salt.”

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “Competitive eating champion Joey Chestnut is in fine form. Saturday he broke his own record by consuming 8.8 pounds of deep fried asparagus in 10 minutes. He was at something called the Stockton [Calif.] Asparagus Festival. Sounds like a great place for the kids.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen angered many Puerto Ricans by saying revered Roberto Clemente is only that island’s third best ballplayer all-time, after Pudge Rodriguez and Roberto Alomar. In an unrelated story, Guillen was ranked No. 1 all-time among Venezuelan managers who should shut up.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Such confusing times for sports fans. Miguel Tejada got caught the other day pretending to be younger (31 instead of 33); a Brit named Pierre Jean Martin, who just finished the London Marathon, got caught pretending to be older (94 instead of 101); and Shaquille O’Neal is closer to 33 (he turned 36 last month) but playing like he’s 94.”

Mark Kriegel, FoxSports.com, railing against draftniks: “I’m more concerned about the multitude of bastard children sired by Mel Kiper Jr. They’re everywhere. And they don’t shut up. Back in the day, a kid had to be able to play football. Now he has to play in space. In the box. On an island. In a tree. With green eggs and ham. Today’s fan absolutely has to know if a prospect is a one-gap player or a two-gapper. Will his skills allow him to play the three technique or the five technique?”

Will Leitch, Deadspin: “Want to know the perils of being a ‘superstar’ Dallas Cowboys quarterback who tends to have some trouble getting his team out of the first round of playoffs? If you start dating a featherbrained ‘pop star,’ you might end up in Robin Leach’s blog — Robin Leach’s blog! — with stories about losing $2.5 million in Vegas. Yes, according to Robin Leach — who’s yelling and he DOESN’T KNOW WHY — Tony Romo dropped a considerable bundle in Vegas and upset poor little Jessica Simpson.”

MEGAPHONE

“I was a bad coach. I did a bad job. I learned from that. But being out of it in the last few years, even though I had a title in Philly … I just missed being around the game. I love it. I want to be a part of it.”

New Bobcats coach Larry Brown, on his ill-fated tenure with the Knicks.