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04.02.2008 8:31 am

Jason Taylor can bust a move

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Miami Dolphins defensive end Jason Taylor is fast developing a much bigger following, thanks to his stellar work on “Dancing with the Stars.”

The Los Angeles Times noted this development: “The day after he and dance partner Edyta Sliwinska scored a near-perfect 27 on their mambo, Taylor’s personal website — www.JasonTaylor99.com — registered more than 300,000 hits, roughly 50 times what he would receive on a typical off-season day.”

As it turns out, Taylor is a natural on the dance floor. And America loves him.

“The funny thing is, I’m not the football player anymore, I’m the football guy that dances now,” Taylor told the Times. “It’s ‘the ‘Dancing With the Stars’ guy.’”

Even his teammates have become big fans.

“I talked to Vonnie Holliday the other day,” Taylor told the Times, “and he said, ‘Man, I turned on the TV on Monday night and I said, ‘Somehow, he slipped by with the fox trot. But tonight with the mambo, he’ll totally expose himself.’ And he was like, ‘Dang! You did your thing! I can’t even say anything! You must have been taking dance lessons on the side or something!’”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering why the Cardinals couldn’t hit Kip Wells, of all people:

  • Who could have possibly guessed the Blues would suffer an overtime loss against Nashville?
  • How will Tom Crean fare at Indiana? Can Marquette find the right coach to keep them in the top half of the brutally competitive Big East?
  • Did Sean Sutton deserve more than two years at the helm of Oklahoma State?
  • And does his demise send an ominous message to Pat Knight?

HONEST ATHLETE OF WEEK

The Los Angeles Times notes that golfer Woody Austin tends to beat himself up. So, no, he didn’t take that double bogey on the final hole of the Zurich Classic in stride.

“I know I was choking,” Austin said, according to the Times. “I’m not going to lie to you. I’m not going to give you a political answer and say, ‘Well, I just didn’t have my game today.’ I didn’t have my game today because I was scared out of my gourd and I was puking my guts out. That’s the reality of it.”

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Will Leitch, Deadspin, on the Cardinals: “Nothing too awful can happen this year. When expectations are low, it’s difficult for the news to be too devastating. Barring an implosion of Albert Pujols’ aorta, nothing can go too wrong this year. We’re looking at positive increments forward, with the inevitable steps back easily shaken off.”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com: “Don’t you kinda sorta wish George Steinbrenner had come along 35 years later and bought the Yankees during the age of the 24-hour sports information cycle of the Internet, all-sports radio, “PTI” and everything else? As annoying as he was over the years, imagine George ranting on his blog at 3:30 a.m. on a Tuesday about why he fired Billy Martin for the 11th time? I miss having a hot-headed, irrational billionaire owner in my life. I guess we’ll have to settle on Hank for now.”

Mark Kriegel, FoxSports.com: “Question for Giants GM Brian Sabean: how do you give a $126 million contract to a guy whose fastball tops out at 84 mph? Turns out the only thing as overrated as Barry Zito was SEC basketball.”

Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel: “Can you believe the hypocritical gall of the San Francisco Giants, who have removed prominent stadium landmarks paying tribute to Barry Bonds’ home run record? Question: Does this mean the team also will give back the ticket and merchandising money it reaped off BALCO Barry’s record? I didn’t think so.”

Dan Bickley, Arizona Republic, suggesting that Matt Leinart quit partying with Nick Lachey: “Leinart is a single father about to turn 25. He is a starting quarterback in the NFL and the face of an entire franchise. He should not be in the same vicinity as a beer bong, much less holding one for a young girl. The NFL is for men. Beer bongs are for drunk, stupid college kids.”

MEGAPHONE

“I was the ‘Godfather of steroids.’ How do you stop the steroid era? Get rid of the guy who brought it in. I was basically - slowly, but surely - being choked out of the game. To the point where when I offered my services for free, no one would touch it.”

Jose Canseco, talking to the New York Daily News.

91 comments

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Remember when we thought the Blues had a surplus of goal tending? Hannu…really…go back to Finland.

Dominated by Kip Wells…there is todays WTF?

— Ten High
9:03 am April 2nd, 2008

Signs it is going to be a loooong 2008 season for the Cardinals:

1. Being shut down by Kip Wells.
2. TLR making excuses for Glaus and Ankiel after one game.
3. Walking in the winning run.
4. Hitting into three double plays.

This kind of play will unfortunately be the norm and not the exception for this team….

— S.W.
9:43 am April 2nd, 2008

1 run against the horrendous Kip Wells? That’s pathetic. Kip Wells should be throwing batting practice on some AAA team somewhere. Cardinals wasted one of the rare quality starts we will see this season. Why is Kyle Lohse only throwing 5 innings? Way to go Troy Glaus. I guess steroids don’t help you throw better. It’s going to be a long season of errors at third base. It’s all up hill from here..

— Bill Lumberg
10:03 am April 2nd, 2008

I am sure glad basball season is finally here!
Dont you all just love baseball in St. Louis?

— StLHooligan
10:35 am April 2nd, 2008

Why is this loser Toivonen still on the blues? Cut this loser. He couldn’t stop a puck if he parked the Zamboini in front of the net. Who drafted this guy? Scott Linehan?

— Bill Lumberg
11:10 am April 2nd, 2008

Is Glaus going to jerk his head out of the strike zone every time he swings all year long, or was that just a opening day tradition?

— Tim
11:39 am April 2nd, 2008

Well, the baseball season has begun, and already, fans and media are placing too much emphasis/meaning into the outcome of a single game. No single game will be a turning point for this team, one way or the other. Expectations are low. It will be at least mid-June before a serious evaluation came be made as to where they may end up this season. A lot will depend on the productivity of the injured expected back, and whether they come back at all. Relax, there are 161 games left to play.

— pf
12:08 pm April 2nd, 2008

I want to to let new readers of this blog know that S.W, Lumberg, et al, criticized the Cardinals daily during 2006, when they won the WORLD SERIES. Loser’s all.
Also, you’ll find that they are mysteriously absent after Cardinals victories. They have pitiful lives and will never, I repeat, never, have anything good to say about anything.
I don’t expect the Cards to contend this year, but there are positives signs concerning their future. S.W., Lumberg and others are not ‘glass half empty, glass half full’ guys (girls?). They are ‘glass totally empty’ guys (girls?).

— Reminder Guy
12:18 pm April 2nd, 2008

I really hate to be a conspiracist, but given the Blues inability to hold a lead of late I am starting to wonder if they are a) trying to get the head coach fired, or b) making a concerted effort to grab the highest draft pick possible. Mind you, at this point b) doesn’t really bother me. If you are going to miss the playoffs, what difference does it make how much you miss them by.

Food for thought…

— Blues Fan Bud Man
12:19 pm April 2nd, 2008

Memo for all you morons that drink yourself blind and give every player a standing ovation for everything trivial thing they do: You are only embarrassing yourself and the city! Act like you have been to a baseball game before. There is nothing wrong with cheering but enough is enough.

One more thing…don’t turn around and wave your arms in the air demanding everyone else stand with you. Standing up does not make you a real Cardinal or baseball fan. You know who you are…stop it.

— Sit down and shut up
12:52 pm April 2nd, 2008

Referencing Dan Binkley’s comments on Matt Leinart, I think I would rather hold a beer bong for a young girl than have my faced smashed into the turf by a 350 lb defensive lineman while trying to resurrect an eternally hopeless NFL franchise. Hell, I saw the pictures and I’d rather hold beer bongs for those girls than do just about anything.

— Drunken Sailor
1:08 pm April 2nd, 2008

Sit down/shut up and Drunken Sailor……..AMEN to all of your points!!!

#10…brace yourself for some negative feedback from what we lovingly refer to as Kool Aid Drinkers.

— Ten High
1:26 pm April 2nd, 2008

Reminder Guy, don’t worry about the idiots S.W., Lumberg, and other dumbasses that have such miserable lives that the only thing they can do to make themselves feel better is to criticise local sports teams. Even if the cardinals would have won last night, they would have been on here saying how it was only one game and they got lucky or something like that.

— J.T.
2:25 pm April 2nd, 2008

Way to blow the game Glaus and TLR. It also didn’t help that they didn’t score more than one run, but TLR lost that game last night. I was there thinking, why in hell is Franklin still in there? He loaded the bases on 17 pitches w/out getting a single out. Then TLR brings in Flores for the lefty, which was the right thing to do. Then he left him in there for face 3 righties in a row. Why? When Glaus booted that throw I started chanting “ROLEN, ROLEN”. Everyone laughed and good times were had by all, until we lost! Get ready for one of the worst defensive teams we’ve had in years! As Charles Barkley says, “That’s terrible, just plain stupid-terrible”!

Congrats to Brian Barton and Kyle McClellan on making their MLB debut. They both looked great last night!

— Still a loyal Cards fan!
2:29 pm April 2nd, 2008

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