For years and years, Shaun Alexander tormented the Rams. But at the prime age of 30 – and just two years into his eight-year, $62 million contract – Alexander got cut.

So what went wrong?

We realize that Alexander has suffered a litany of injuries the past few years. That sprained knee, in particular, cost him some jump. He looked fat and slow last season. (Seattle’s colors do NOT have a slimming effect.)

We understand why the Seahawks felt compelled to overhaul their offensive line and freshen up their running back corps. Their offense really bogged down last season.

It’s still weird, though, to see a franchise cornerstone like Alexander hit the bricks. Here is how Seattle Times columnist Steve Kelley saw it:

“Three years ago, he was on top of the world. Now he is looking for a job. Change happens that fast.

“For most of his eight seasons, Alexander, who turns 31 in August, found the end zone the way a divining rod finds water. He was a scorer, like Ray Allen in basketball, or Sidney Crosby in hockey . .

“Alexander was symbolic of everything that has been good about football in Seattle since the Hawks moved to Qwest Field. Alexander with the ball in the red zone was money. He was the surest thing in Seattle sports since Gary Payton with the ball on a fast break.

“He helped make the darkness of autumn and early winter in Seattle feel lighter. In his time he was a great running back.

“But careers die quickly in the NFL. Change happens fast. The Seahawks of 2008 are much different from those Super Bowl Hawks.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while Brad Thompson heads off to Memphis to do some more time at the Class AAA level:

• Will Brendan Ryan make the most of this opportunity to play shortstop? Or will he continue to aggravate the Cards coaches with mental lapses and manic behavior?
• Does every general manager of a pitching-starved team now have John Mozeliak on speed dial?
• Who could have possibly guessed that Mike Keenan would lead to the Calgary Flames to a first-round playoff loss — and torment his starting goaltender in the process?

ISN’T LOVE GRAND?

Yes, Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo is still attached to publicity-starved songstress Jessica Simpson. We know this because People.com had a spy at his 28th birthday party.

Naturally, Simpson made a spectacle of herself.

“She licked cake from his face as everyone cheered them on,” a source told People.com. “It was quite a spectacle. But they looked really happy together. Jessica had blue icing all over her hands and mouth and Tony was laughing.”

This relationship cannot possibly end well.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “Back in Nebraska, a record 80,149 turned out for the football spring game. Apparently, the corn was already husked and the entire state had nothing else to do.”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com: “So that’s what I grew up with: The Canadiens beating the Bruins. We were the nail and they were the hammer. Nothing ever changed. When I graduated college and realized I had spent two solid decades of my life rooting for a franchise that cared about making a profit more than winning a Stanley Cup, that’s the only way I was able to dump the Canadiens from my life — by not following the sport as diligently. Once the Devils unveiled their hideous zone trap and Gary Bettman tried to turn a blue-collar sport into ‘NBA 2.0,’ it was an easy decision to cut the cord entirely.”

Norman Chad, syndicated columnist: “When the Yankees dug up that Red Sox jersey, where was Geraldo?”

Dwight Perry, Seattle Times: “Giants quarterback Eli Manning married college sweetheart Abby McGrew on Saturday in a modest affair in Los Cabos, Mexico. The only awkward moment, witnesses say, came when she tossed the wedding bouquet and Asante Samuel dropped a sure interception.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Dale Earnhardt Jr. has opened a new bar, Whisky River, in Charlotte, N.C. Cannot confirm the bar aims to be a place where ‘people can come in, relax and feel like they haven’t won a race in 70 consecutive starts.’”

Steve Rosenbloom, ChicagoSports.com: “A nugget to impress your friends who read People and watch ‘Access Hollywood:’ Jason Segal, the star and writer of the alleged comedy ‘Forgetting Sarah Marshall,’ used to play high school hoops, where he was known as ‘Dr. Dunk’ after an East Coast contest in which he dunked with his jersey pulled over his head.”

MEGAPHONE

“He still thinks he’s a legend. Roy Jones, he’s also a legend, isn’t he? But I’m a legend killer. Send in another one, and I’ll send them all packing.”

Boxer Joe Calzaghe, talking to reporters after he pummeled Bernard Hopkins.