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04.24.2008 8:52 am

Shooting for a Reds October

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With Walt Jocketty running the Reds, Cardinal Nation will no longer get to write off Cincinnati year after year after year.

Walt knows how to build a winning roster on a budget. He avoids making Big Mistakes and he always finds value in the bargain bin.

Reds CEO Bob Castellini snapped up Jocketty as a “special adviser” after Walt parted ways with the Cards. His ascension to general manager, at the expense of Wayne Krivsky, seemed inevitable.

Castellini was a great admirer of Jocketty’s work in St. Louis. And he was NOT an admirer of the Reds’ persistent mediocrity. So just 21 games into the season, Krivsky got the short haircut.

Did he get a fair shot at rebuilding the Reds? Probably not, but, again, Castellini is sick of losing.

“Krivsky worked for a win-now owner when winning now was not practical,” Cincinnati Enquirer columnist Paul Daugherty said. “The Castellini-George Steinbrenner comparisons are not apt. But they do make you pause. Since January, Krivsky labored with Jocketty perched like Poe’s Raven on his shoulder.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while waiting for Todd Wellemeyer to keep his pitches down:

  • If the Rams really can’t decide between Glenn Dorsey and Chris Long, why don’t they move down a spot, get an extra draft pick and let Atlanta make that call?
  • Will Michael Irvin counsel Adam “Pacman” Jones on how to live dangerously in the Big D?
  • Is Kobe Bryant moving into the hallowed Michael Jordan/Magic Johnson/Larry Bird territory?

ANOTHER MYSTERY SOLVED

CBS funnyman David Letterman asked the question nagging millions of American men: Where does Danica Patrick put all that hair during a race?

“I don’t have a little scrunchie on my wrist because that really wouldn’t look very nice with my outfit,” Patrick quipped. “But, yeah, I put it back, put my hair back and it goes underneath the suit. So it’s a matted mess when I get done. All you girls with long hair know what I’m talking about.”

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “Indianapolis Colts RB Kenton Keith got himself arrested for refusing to leave a nightclub parking lot and yelling at the police: ‘I’m a Colts player! I’m a Colts player!’ Wonder if he could hear the echo coming back: ‘Not for long! Not for long!’”

Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times: “Maybe I’m mistaken, but to have a running game, it helps to actually have a running back. The Bears own no such creature, unless we’re counting Cedric (Three Yards and a Cloud of Bust) Benson – and I’m not. Without a ballcarrier, they’re placing ungodly pressure on Rex Grossman or Kyle Orton to stimulate the offense, a daunting thought in and of itself and even scarier considering there are better wide receivers in Lincoln Park weekend league.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Pierre Jean Martin, who claimed to have completed the London Marathon last week at age 101, actually was only 94. Simple explanation: He was 94 when he started the marathon, 101 when he finished.”

Mark Kriegel, FoxSports.com: “Ever try to sit down and actually watch one of these Yankee-Red Sox games beginning to end? By the time it’s over, you have to shave again. These things go on so long it feels like Jerry Lewis should come out for the 7th-inning stretch and start asking for money.”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com, on pulling for a Celtics-Lakers showdown in the NBA Finals: “Just the mere possibility of this one has me so energized, I wish Kurt Rambis were in my office right now so I could clothesline him into my desk. Imagine seeing those uniforms on the same court in June again. We’d have Kobe and KG fighting for a career-altering ring, Phil Jackson going for Red Auerbach’s record for coaching titles, Allen and Kobe renewing their bizarre feud. I live for the emotional revival of those ‘Beat LA’ chants that meant something once and the tons of Magic-Bird highlights that would offset the startling impact of seeing the two icons show up for Game 1 weighing in at a combined 620 pounds.”

Chris Foster, Los Angeles Times: So it has come to this in New York: You can’t get a Baby Ruth in the clubhouse that was home to Babe Ruth. New York Yankees Manager Joe Girardi has banned candy and ice cream in an effort to create a more healthy diet . . . In Tampa Bay, the candy was replaced with nuts, dried fruit and granola, hardly an inspiring rhyme scheme for ‘Take Me Out to the Ball Game’ ( . . . Buy me some peanuts, dried fruit and granola, I don’t care if I ever go hoo-ma?).”

MEGAPHONE

“They were kind of loud at the beginning. But a lot of these fans are bandwagon jumpers trying to get on this now. I played here last year, too. And I didn’t see three fourths of them. They’re for the team now and they might get a little rowdy but that’s about it.”

Hawks guard Mike Bibby, taunting Boston fans in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution.

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