Web Search powered by YAHOO! SEARCH
05.09.2008 6:57 am

Jim Edmonds: Toast

Is it over for Jimmy Ballgame?

San Diego Union Tribune columnist Tim Sullivan believes so. Here is his take:

“Should you happen to run across John Moores around mealtime, be sure to pass him some Pepto-Bismol. If the Padres’ owner is about to eat Jim Edmonds‘ contract, indigestion would seem inevitable.

“But the time has come for aggressive action, and the time has passed when Edmonds could be counted on as a productive ballplayer.

“You have to know you’ve overstayed your welcome when Callix Crabbe is sent up to pinch hit in your place in the ninth inning. You have to know the end is near when your general manager goes on the radio to remark on how much your legs and bat have slowed down.

“You almost have to wonder whether manager Bud Black sent Crabbe up last night in Atlanta to play a percentage or to shame Edmonds into retirement. That’s how bad things have become, both for Edmonds and the Home Team, and maybe that’s as bad as it can get.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering what, exactly, has gotten into Chris Osgood during these NHL playoffs:

  • Where was THAT Osgood when he played for the Blues?
  • When John Daly went in for stomach muscle surgery, shouldn’t he have asked them to take a little off the front?
  • Will beleaguered Ned Yost be managing for his job this weekend when the Cards come calling?


TORTOISE 1, HARE 0

Talk about a classic contrast: 900-year-old Jamie Moyer of the Phillies recently out-pitched former Mizzou ace Max Scherzer, a Diamondbacks rookie.

Moyer’s “fastball” touches the low 80s. Scherzer, on the other hand, hit 98 miles per hour during his major league debut.

Naturally, reporters asked Moyer what he was clocked at during his big league debut back in 1986.

“Back then, I don’t think they had radar guns,” Moyer said.

FAVRE JERSEY RETIRED, THANKFULLY

Had Brett Favre decided to play on in 2008, David Witthoft would have had a problem. The 12-year-old had worn his Farve replica jersey every day for more than four years.

His hormones were kicking in and the jersey was starting to look like a midriff shirt.

“It was tough for him for a while, but now that he’s 12, he is a little more concerned about his appearance,” his father, Chuck Witthoft, told the Green Bay Press-Gazette. “And the jersey barely came down to his belt line.”

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Jeff Schultz, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “The monthly meeting of ‘Women Who Haven’t Slept with Roger Clemens’ will meet this evening at Applebees. A table for six has been reserved.”

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “BetUS.com odds on which team will have a player arrested next has the Bengals as 5-1 favorites, followed by the Falcons at 8-1 and Dolphins at 10-1. First time in years that the Fish have been in any Top 3 listing.”

Steve Rosenbloom
, ChicagoSports.com, offering Ozzie Guillen some advice: “Jermaine Dye is hitting .182 this month. Congratulations, kid, you’re almost 40 points better than Jim Thome. Paul Konerko has four hits this month. Way to go, son, you’re 50 points better than Dye. Wake up, Oz. I love you, but you are an accomplice here. Your hitters are committing Sox-icide. Bench somebody who makes a lot of money. We heard the same thing from Guillen last year about how these guys are good hitters, veteran hitters, loyalty, blah, blah, blah. Well, guess what? Loyalty got the Sox into the same toilet as the Royals.”

Dwight Perry
, Seattle Times: “Roger Clemens offered up a non-apology apology Monday, saying he was sure sorry for all those things he did, whatever they were. Clemens said he would have no further comment, nor would his speechwriter, Jason Giambi.”

Will Leitch, Deadspin.com: “Remember when Dywane Wade was everybody’s favorite athlete? Humble, freakishly talented, good to his family, an All-American guy. So … what happened? The Heat were the worst team in the NBA this year, and Wade’s buddy Shaq is gone. More to the point, though … Wade’s supposedly dating Star Jones (Star Jones! Seriously!) and having alleged groupies of his call into radio stations. Wade went from the superstar everyone can like to a beaten, injured spirit who’s showing up in gossip pages everywhere. (With Star Jones!) (!!) We dunno; we supposed we’re just worried about the guy. That seemed to turn, like, really fast.”

MEGAPHONE

“If you ask anyone close to me, they will probably let you know it’s probably not the right platform for me. I’m guessing that is not the place for me to really excel. ‘Racecar Driving With the Stars’? Maybe. I might be at ‘Batting Practice With the Stars.’ ‘Dancing with the Stars’? Not for me.”

Former tennis star Jim Courier, admitting he isn’t a candidate for “Dancing with the Stars”.

1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (1 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...
33 comments

Comments are closed.

Q: What is the shortest book ever written?

A: French War Heroes.

— Frog
9:41 am May 9th, 2008

Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting without an accordian.

— Frog
9:42 am May 9th, 2008

Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up?

A: The Army.

— Frog
9:47 am May 9th, 2008

Q: Why don’t Jewish cannibals like eating Germans?

A: They give them gas.

— Z
9:50 am May 9th, 2008

“I need to buy some boards there, Sven.”
“How long you want ‘em, Ole?”
“Long time. I’m building a house, ya know.”

— Vunny
10:00 am May 9th, 2008

So Sven and Ole go to the beach, and after a couple hours Sven says, “This ain’t no fun. How come the girls aren’t friendly to me?”
“Well, I tell you, Sven, maybe if you put a potato in your swim trunks that would help.”

—So Sven does, but he comes back to Ole later, and he says, “I tried what you told me with the potato, but it doesn’t help.”

“No, Sven — you’re supposed to put the potato in the front.”

— Vunny
10:01 am May 9th, 2008

I didn’t know today was joke day!

Anyway, what else does Ludwick have to do to prove he should be starting over Duncan? I don’t care if we’re facing a righty or not, there are plenty of lefties in this lineup. Duncan creates two holes. One in the outfield, because he can’t cover any ground, and one in the lineup where he has been struggling for over a year now. Please send him down to Memphis.

To whoever said we are better without Edmonds and Rolen, was half right. Scotty is batting .318 with two HR’s and 8 RBI’s in 12 games. Glaus on the other hand .225 one HR and 21 RBI’s in 35 games. Given, Rolen did get injured again, with the freak accident with the finger, but we would be a better team with Rolen. I’ve never seen anyone cover as much ground at the hot corner as Scotty does! Too bad TLR couldn’t take his own advice and keep their rift out of the media. Good manager, bad decision!

— Still a loyal Cards fan!
10:10 am May 9th, 2008

Okay, so Rolen has gotten off to a hot start and has nice numbers after 12 games. BUT, I would still take Glaus and his 12 doubles and 21 RBIs over Rolen’s gaudy numbers simply because Glaus has been able to play 34 games so far and Rolen has played 12. Smothering defense and a hot hitting streak can’t make up for the fact that Rolen is too injury-prone to be relied upon for a grueling 162 game schedule. What use is a “starter” if that player is not available to play half the time?

I’m not a betting man, but if I were I’d wager that Scott Rolen plays less than 80 games this year.

— Fark
10:39 am May 9th, 2008

I’ll take that bet!

— Still a loyal Cards fan!
10:53 am May 9th, 2008

It’s Friday and Kevin Slaten is still unemployed and now broke. Good riddence to a looser!

— Rico
2:35 pm May 9th, 2008

Pages: « 1 2 [3] 4 » Show All