Rams washout Dominique Byrd should be proud of Washington Redskins tight end Fred Davis, a second-round pick in the NFL Draft.

In just his third day in pro football, the rookie from USC overslept and missed a minicamp practice. That prompted the team to send security personnel to find him and make sure he was still OK.

Now THIS is a young Trojan looking to establish himself the right way.

“Everybody was scouring,” Redskins coach Jim Zorn told reporters. “Nobody heard from him, so there was one of two scenarios: either there was some real trouble and we needed to find him, or he screwed up. I haven’t even got to talk to him yet. I know he has been found. I believe it is more in the ‘I screwed up’ category.”

Davis did finally show up at Redskins Park. And, yes, he is still on the team.

“He just had a setback,” Zorn said. “Hopefully everybody will learn from the lesson that he is having to learn right now about what it is going to take to get to a place on time, to be responsible.”

Yeah, well, good luck with that. Byrd never solved that riddle here.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

• Questions to ponder while wondering how long the Brewers will stick with hapless Eric Gagne as their closer:
• Is there something in Alfonso Soriano’s genetic code that precludes him from working the count?
• Were ESPN executives doing handstands over Sunday night’s Jason Marquis-Todd Wellemeyer showdown? And speaking of Marquis, did he really want to walk Adam Kennedy to get to Albert Pujols?
• Is it just us, or did the Atlanta Hawks look just a bit tight against the Celtics Sunday afternoon?

WHAT? NO STRIPPER POLE?

If you want to buy spread Adam “Pacman” Jones owns in Franklin, Tenn., it will cost you $1.8 million. According to the Associated Press, the property includes “a two-acre lake stocked with fish, two barns, two guest quarters with game rooms and a view of tree-covered hills and farmland.”

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “Nice finish, Mavericks! Bad trade, first-round ouster, Jerry Stackhouse thrown out of the final game for slapping the ball out of an opponent’s hand during play stoppage, Josh Howard bizarrely admitting on a radio show that he’s a pothead, coach getting fired, Mark Cuban exploding in a massive fireball. It’s going to be a miserable offseason in Dallas. For everyone but Howard.”

Jeff Schultz, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “There is hope. Millions of years from now, scientists will debate whether the BCS ran out of food, was hit by a meteor or just fell into a tar pit.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Did you read about the Western Oregon softball player who tore up her knee after hitting a game-winning homer — and was carried around the bases by two opponents? You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if the major leagues picked up on that and instituted, uh, designated carriers. Heck, if they’d had those a decade ago, Cecil Fielder might still be playing.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Heat star Dwyane Wade and his wife have separated, but Wade publicly denied rumors of an affair with Star Jones, saying they were just ‘friends.’ I tend to believe Dwyane, because in making a list of unlikely paramours, I might put right at the top a 46-year-old woman who used to weigh 300 pounds.”

Mike Lupica, New York Daily News: Sometimes your window of opportunity doesn’t just close in sports, it smashes your fingers when it does. If you don’t believe that, ask the Dallas Mavericks.”

Chris Foster, Los Angeles Times: “Notre Dame Athletic Director Kevin White remains dead set against altering Bowl Championship Series rules, saying this week, ‘If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.’ Awfully magnanimous, considering the rules didn’t allow for a 3-9 Fighting Irish team to go to a BCS game.”

David Thomas, Fort Worth Star-Telegram: “My son, a second-grader, had a homework assignment in which he had to write a ‘fact’ statement and a ‘fantasy’ statement. The example fantasy statement had something to do with a purple cow singing a song. So I suggested his fantasy statement should be, ‘The Rangers will finish above .500.’”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com: “Like so many other NBA fans, I have a pipe dream of stumbling into enough wealth to own an NBA team some day. It will never happen, but really, it’s my ultimate pipe dream other than my daughter turning into a world-class tennis player and me turning into one of those deranged Tennis Dads who shows up for every match flashing hand signals and intimidating the judges. Anyway, if I were fortunate enough to own an NBA team, I would never, ever, EVER favor my pockets over a chance at a title. I just wouldn’t. It’s like going to Vegas for a guy’s weekend and refusing to lose more than $100. Why even go then? Just stay home.”

MEGAPHONE

“We know his problems aren’t physical ones and his hitting trouble isn’t terminal.”

Dodgers manager Joe Torre, on struggling outfielder Andruw Jones.