Actress Kristen Bell is a REALLY big hockey fan. We know this because she told NHL.com about her teen obsession with goaltender Chris Osgood.

Seriously, she was infatuated with Ozzie while growing up.

“Chris Osgood was my first crush,” she said. “Brad Pitt be damned, he had nothing on Osgood’s rookie skill and sad eyes. There was actually a day in high school when I wrote on a name tag ‘Mrs. Osgood’ and wore it the whole day. I really thought we were perfect for each other. I’d love to meet him and probably apologize that things never worked out.”

Yeah, well, Chris would probably like that.

Bell also revealed her lust for the Stanley Cup. What would she do with the Cup if she had her way with it for a day?

“I would start by eating an entire box of Fruity Pebbles out of it,” she said. “Then I’d take an afternoon sponge bath in it. Then I’d retro fit it with handles and make it into a Stanley Cup handbag.”

Check her out chatting with Jimmy Kimmel a few years back.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering why Lakers guard Derek Fisher was able to crash land on Brent Barry without getting a last-second foul call:

• Is it really a good idea to let Joey Crawford referee a Spurs game?
• How much longer will the Cubs give Jim Edmonds to cross the Mendoza Line?
• Why does Roger Clemens press on with his futile legal strategy? In his heart, is he just a desperate glutton for punishment?
• Who could have possibly guessed that Dice-K would develop a sore shoulder throwing 1,000 breaking balls a game?

THE DEATH OF SPORTSMANSHIP

Ah, Little League baseball . . . no better way to teach young people good values. Check out this news report.
THERE’S NO ‘I’ IN ERROR

Like many major leaguers, White Sox shortstop Orlando Cabrera freaks out over official scoring calls. But unlike a lot of players, he frequently calls the press box to complain about the rulings.

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen doesn’t seem to be a big fan of this. And Cabrera has a problem with managers who don’t back their players on such matters.

The situation boiled over in Chicago, thanks to pesky reporting by the Sun-Times and Tribune.

“If there was a major league player who tells me he’s not selfish, he’s lying,” Cabrera told a reporter. “Everyone is selfish about numbers, because that’s the only thing people cannot lie about. That’s it. It’s not a big deal. I don’t know who’s trying to make this a big deal. Maybe it’s the media, maybe it’s the manager. And nobody is complaining about that stuff. Nobody cares about that.”

Maybe, must maybe, Cabrera should focus on fielding everything hit his way during the games. And maybe he should put some effort into raising that batting average (.242 through Wednesday) as well.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

A.J. Daulerio, Deadspin.com: “Tomorrow the Scripps National Spelling Bee will give another group of spindly kids with Akeelah-like aspirations an opportunity to make use of their freakish memorization skills. This year, the kids are more aware of the ramifications and long-term career potential that comes with the national stage. Spell the words right, become a shooting star; fail and go back to the life of being an extraordinarily bright child with lots of tuba-playing friends. (Or, if they’re a home-schooled, back to being a socially-stunted shut-in whose only friends are the mailman and a rotting salamander carcass in a mason jar.)”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “The French Open is under way. It is Rafael Nadal’s favorite tournament, not only because it has a clay surface, but because that is one of the few countries where Nadal isn’t the only man wearing Capri pants.”

Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times: “So now the Cubs are warning fans not to fire verbal zingers at Alfonso Soriano. Seems they want $45 for a bleacher ticket, $6 for a beer and your right to free speech if the human blooper reel drops another fly ball. What might they demand next, a group hug for Soriano by the vines every time he goofs up?”

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “From July 1, 2006 to June 30, 2007, Notre Dame paid football Coach Charlie Weis $598,000. And Notre Dame also paid former football coach Ty Willingham $650,000. That’s nice.”

Mark Kriegel, FoxSports.com: “Baseball types are concerned that instant replay will affect the ‘rhythm of the game.’ This is the first I’ve heard that baseball had rhythm.”

Steve Rosenbloom, ChicagoSports.com: “One charge for drugs, one charge for alcohol, and now two traffic citations. I’m thinking Joakim Noah is more well-rounded than the Bulls first believed. Next, boating lessons from Cedric Benson.”

MEGAPHONE

“I think every day is important right now. I’m not going to worry about it. The worst thing they can do is send me back to my family, you know what I mean? Right now I’m really concentrating on helping the team, and obviously, I have to be a father at home. There are a lot of things more important than just the game. I have a whole list of things on my plate right now, so when I’m here, I’m doing my job and doing the best I can. And when I get home, I separate myself from it.”

Struggling Cubs outfielder Jim Edmonds.