Millions of American viewers were pulling for everyman Paul Goydos to topple Sergio Garcia in the Players Championship.

Goydos, 43, is a two-time winner on the PGA Tour. But he is just one of the dozens of faceless journeymen crowding the field. He tours with a Long Beach State baseball cap (bought at an airport) because he lacks a headwear endorsement.

How could you not pull for Goydos against Garcia, a brilliant talent with a famously skittish putter?

Alas, Garcia manned up and won the Players in a playoff. But Goydos entertained us with his refreshing candor.

“Maybe, in a sense, I got to feel for a day what it was like to be like Tiger Woods with the crowd behind you,” Goydos told reporters.

“I got to do a lot of firsts this week. You know, first time leading and first playoff. I’ve got to think 0-1 is a better playoff than 0-0, right? Am I wrong there?”

What was it little dueling Garcia?

“You can’t control it,” Goydos said. “No defense. I couldn’t tackle the little guy. He’s probably not little, that’s probably not a fair thing; he could probably take me pretty easily. But you can’t kneecap him.”

What if you could? Wouldn’t that make for great TV?

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while Ned Yost sorts through his bullpen mess:

• With Rick Ankiel, Skip Schumaker and Ryan Ludwick hitting so well – and defending so well – how will Chris Duncan get regular work in the Cards outfield?
• Who could have possibly guessed that O.J. Mayo would become the subject of NCAA violation allegations?
• Did even the most ardent Illini fan believe Deron Williams would become a dominant offensive NBA player?

MAD, YET MEMORABLE

Sure, White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen gets some bad press for his frequent outbursts. But bad press is better than no press, right?

“Who’s the manager they remember the most?” Guillen asked reporters. “Billy Martin. They don’t remember Sparky Anderson. They remember Billy Martin because he was the crazy one.

“Why do you think they like Lou Piniella? Because Lou is good? Great guy. Great baseball people. But people love Lou Piniella because he’s [messed] up!”

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Did you see that People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals claimed, without basis, that the actions of Eight Belles’ jockey contributed to the horse’s demise following the race? I would never suggest PETA is all about the publicity stunt, but I understand its next cause will be to claim that Mr. Ed was subjected to years of mental abuse by Wilbur.”

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “Mr. Redlegs, the Cincinnati Reds mascot, was decapitated on the field. At this moment, no Bengal has been arrested although many are considered ‘persons of interest.’”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “It’s hard to believe LeBron James‘ .191 shooting percentage (8-for-42) in the first two games of the Celtics series. Heck, that’s what Red Klotz used to shoot against the Globetrotters. Of course, Red was paid to do it.”

Mike Lupica, New York Daily News: “The NFL has handled SpyGate so well that eight months later, people want as many answers out of Commissioner Goodell as they do out of the coach who was doing the cheating. On both sides of the ball.”

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “Will Pacman Jones wind up playing for the Cowboys next season? His fate is up in the air. Pacman is just waiting to see if there is a judge somewhere who will make it arraign.”

Norman Chad, syndicated columnist, on Yankees reliever Mariano Rivera: “Waiting for Rivera to screw up is like waiting for Godot. What’s most impressive about his 453 saves in 512 opportunities is this: It’s all been done under the watch of George Steinbrenner in New York, where you’re never more than two blown saves away from a slow boat to Tampa.”

MEGAPHONE

“You go 5-11, guess what? You’d better be intense. It doesn’t matter who the coach is. You have to develop a sense of urgency at 5-11. You have to earn the right to have a calm and relaxing offseason, and you can’t do that at 5-11.”

Ravens defensive end Trevor Pryce, on the team’s combative mini-camp.