The Cubs are steamrolling the National League this season. All the pieces are fitting together for manager Lou Piniella.

Even Jim Edmonds has relocated his batting stroke. Life is so good on the North Side right now that even Chicago Sun-Times columnist Jay Mariotti likes this team – and he is the longstanding Voice of Pessimism in the Windy City.

Here is some of his latest column:

“This is the one. There, I said it. Of all the Cubs teams you’ve watched in your lifetime — unless you’re 110 years old, remember 1908 and rode to the West Side Grounds in Henry Ford’s first Model T — this is the club that has the best chance of tranquilizing your pain and letting you fathom the unfathomable.

“These are the Cubs who could purge all images of black cats, billy goats and Bartmans. These are the Cubs who lead the major leagues in mashing and own baseball’s best offensive lineup so far. These are the Cubs who think nothing of overcoming a deficit in the late innings and no longer need the ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ singer to bellow, ‘Let’s get some runs!’

“These are the Cubs who could inundate the final All-Star Game at Yankee Stadium with a torrent of blue. These are the Cubs who never have had friendlier times at the confines, winning 26 of 34 games in front of a rapturous cult that believes every day is Game 7, belting out the cornballish ‘Go Cubs Go’ without really knowing the words.”

So there you go. All that’s left for the Cardinals this season is the wild-card fight.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering how Mark Worrell developed such a crazy pitching delivery:

• Say, isn’t Rick Ankiel due to channel his inner Jay Bruce and get hot again?
• Now that Yankees phenom Joba Chamberlain has flopped as a starter, what is Hank Steinbrenner’s next move?
• Why can’t the National League West put up a little better fight against the Cubs? Is 2-16 really the best those teams can do against the Small Bears?

MORE RUBBER CHICKEN, LESS GAME PREP

The St. Petersburg Times recently looked at the growing trend of college head coaches giving up their play-calling duties. Florida State coach Bobby Bowden noted how difficult it was to coach AND run a college program.

“You can’t hardly do it and be the head coach,” he said. “Who’s going to go to the booster club meetings? Who’s going to do this and that? A guy who’s going to call plays has to look at film, look at film, look at film. I used to study film all the time, but there comes a time when you can’t study enough and football has gotten so sophisticated, you better spend all day looking at it or you’re in trouble.”

WHAT BEER DOES TO MEN

The fellas at Joe Sports Fan keep an eye out for activity like this Busch Stadium dance-off. Scary stuff, for sure.

(There is far worse on that site, which is why Tipsheet can’t, in good conscience, link you directly there. Not before breakfast.)

ATHLETE OF WEEK

Adam Bender, an 8-year-old ballplayer in Kentucky, gets it done with one leg.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “J.D. Drew, the Red Sox’s oft-injured right fielder, misses Friday night’s game against the Orioles with vertigo. Can’t say I’m surprised. He’s been swinging the bat like Kim Novak lately.”

Jeff Schultz, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “I am not making this up: Big Brown, the horse, has been signed to a marketing deal on the chance he wins the Belmont, complete with his own Triple Crown logo. I also believe this means he will sign only Upper Deck cards and, yes, is dating Lindsay Lohan.”

Elliott Harris, Chicago Sun-Times: “Padres pitcher Mark Prior – the former Cubs right-hander whom most teams were reluctant to sign to a one-year deal — is to undergo surgery and will miss the rest of the season. Guess he didn’t have a no-cut clause.”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com, wondering how the Lakers swung that Pau Gasol deal: “At least the Celts gave up Al Jefferson for KG. How was the Gasol trade legal? If I kill my mailman and no one ever finds out, does that make it legal? Jerry West’s old team (Memphis) gift-wrapped its best player for the team that once employed West for 40 years, taking back a pupu platter (Kwame Brown, a third-string guard and two crappy picks). This happened even though the Lakers’ season would have been over without a center. Had this trade taken place in a fantasy league, it would have led to three weeks of vicious e-mails, crumbled friendships, guys quitting and maybe even a fistfight. In the NBA, it led to the Lakers being presented the 2008 Western Conference trophy by . . . yup, a crying Jerry West. The NBA, where chicanery happens.”

Mark Kriegel, FoxSports.com: “Dr. Gregory Bennett, Big Brown’s veterinarian, tells the New York Times that ‘the Winstrol does not alter his performance or anything like that.’ Yeah, and it won’t help him hit a baseball, either. Question is, when does Special Agent Novitsky put Big Brown under oath?”

Dwight Perry, Seattle Times: “A section of I-395, the highway that runs past Camden Yards in Baltimore, has been renamed ‘Cal Ripken Way’ in honor of the team’s former ironman shortstop. In keeping with the theme, you’ll have to drive 2,632 miles before hitting a rest stop.”

MEGAPHONE

“I don’t date golfers. I don’t date athletes or actors . . . They have demanding jobs, and I have demanding job, so it’s difficult to do that.”

Photogenic LPGA tour member Anna Rawson, telling golf.com that she only dates regular guys.