Chad Johnson lives for our attention
Bengals receiver Chad Johnson threatened to sit out the season if the team didn’t meet his trade demand. Unmoved, Bengals management told him to go ahead and sit.
Johnson changed course and showed up for the team’s mandatory mini-camp He didn’t practice, though.
Then he did practice . . . but only for a few repetitions. The media, of course, charted his every move – and Johnson’s teammates bristled at the distraction.
“You know what? I’m going to pass on talking about Chad today,” quarterback Carson Palmer told reporters. “I think everybody in here is probably sick of hearing about him, and everybody out there is sick of hearing about him. So I’m not going to talk about him.”
Since Johnson opted not to chat, reporters asked T.J. Houshmandzadeh to interpret his actions.
“I don’t know what he’s thinking, I really don’t,” Houshmandzadeh said. “He called me last night and said he wasn’t coming, but I knew he was lying. I was on my way to the airport, so I knew he probably was already here. But I don’t know what he’s thinking. I don’t know. I can’t speak for him.”
MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE
Questions to ponder while wondering how much longer poor Willie Randolph can last with the Mets:
- With Alfonso Soriano sidelined for the Cubs, will Jim Edmonds step up for the Cubs and replace his power?
- How in the world did Phil Jackson and Kobe Bryant allow the Lakers to blow that 24-point lead and lose going away?
- How will any of us live with Boston sports fans after the Celtics win the NBA title?
QUIPS ‘R US
Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:
Bill Simmons, ESPN.com, comparing Phil Jackson and Celtics coach Doc Rivers: “After watching ABC’s halftime segment about the Zen Master and his philosophy that basketball teams are like a wolfpack, and the strength of the pack is greater than the strength of the wolf itself, suddenly Doc’s pregame ‘Do what you have to do to win’ speech feels a little, um, what’s the word … pedestrian by comparison. On the other hand, maybe Doc doesn’t like to complicate things like Phil does. Yeah, that’s it.”
Frank Fitzpatrick, Philadelphia Inquirer: “When did Philly become St. Louis? It’s probably a personal bias, but nothing shouts ‘know-nothing homer’ like a fan in a uniform top. Wear a Phils cap. Root, root, root for the home team. But don’t dress up like you’re a player. You’re not.”
Steve Rosenbloom, ChicagoSports.com: “David Stern will never wash away the game-fixing charges by referee Tim Donaghy, because his league is filled with curious officiating and outlandish calls-non-calls that benefit the most TV-friendly teams. Such as the Bulls. Such as the famous Charles Smith game between the evil Knicks and ratings-monster Bulls in the 1993 Eastern Conference finals. I mean, do you really believe that Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen and Horace Grant combined for four blocks on Smith under the 8th Avenue basket of Madison Square Garden and never fouled the guy at the end of that critical Game 5? Come on.”
Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “My shortest listen to a Giants radio broadcast: ‘Zito into the windup, here’s the pitch . . . fastball, outside. Eighty-one miles per hour on the speed gun.’ Tim Lincecum’s changeup goes 82-83 mph. Someone, at some point, will have to explain what happened to Barry Zito’s fastball. You can’t pound the zone with 81-mph cheese. That’s Gouda, baby.”
Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Five Rays and three Red Sox players were suspended a total of 38 games for a brawl in a heated battle for first in the AL East. ”We wish we still mattered enough to brawl,” thought the Yankees.”
Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel: “Can you believe former White House press secretary Scott McClellan has written a tell-all book? One of the revelations: Bill Belichick secretly taped the Iraqi Republican Guard practicing its surrender formation.”
Simmons again: “The Kobe-MJ thing . . . done. Over. Jordan never would have let that happen in the Finals. Ever. Under any circumstances. Nobody is ever allowed to bring this up again.”
MEGAPHONE
“I think there is a right way to do things. I have always felt that as a player, you go out there and put your best foot forward and, as a long as you are giving 100 percent effort every time, you’ll be taken care of.”
Giants center Shaun O’Hara, addressing teammate Plaxico Burress’ demands to renegotiate his contract.
Could we please permanently delete Bill Simmons comments? I’d rather read blank space.
Frank Fitzpatrick says St. Louis fans are “no-nothing homers” because we wear uniform tops to baseball games? Does he think being a rude ill-mannered slob in a Rolling Rock T-shirt makes you a smarter baseball fan? We would be happy to get a group of uniform topped St. Louis fans and take the Pepsi Challenge of baseball knowledge with a group of those people. They have a jail and courthouse in their ballpark so maybe they all should wear orange jump suits.
Frank Fitzpatrick’s comment is one of the most moronic statements I’ve ever heard, especially the part about “wear a Phils cap”. First of all, what’s the difference between a hat and a jersey? And secondly, isn’t that what fans do, is where merchandise of the team/band/social group/presidential candidate/etc they support? I really don’t know how a thought like that makes it from someone’s brain to their finger tips.
Frank Fitzpatrick: off the christmas list.
By the way, here’s the link to Frank’s article, if you care to let him know how you feel: http://www.philly.com/inquirer/columnists/frank_fitzpatrick/20080613_Morning_Bytes__Dads__remember_your_kids_on_Father_s_Day.html
What the hell is Randy Flores doing screwing around trying to trick a rookie hitting about .225 by throwing three consecutive sliders out of the strike zone instead of challenging him? That brilliance brought Griffey and Phillips up to the plate…game over.
nice copy/paste job there, Ryan. Nice to see you could replace JG should that be necessary.
I suppose Fitzpatrick would prefer his beloved Phillies fans return to the days of throwing batteries at players.
whatthetlr: Both comments are mine. Copy and pasted, yes, but I see no harm in that in this case.
So we have good ol’ Gordo copying and pasting, and now Gordo clones are doing the same in their comments (read: whatthetrl)? I thought one had to have an IQ greater than 75 to operate the computer….oh wait, what am I saying, S.W. posts on here all the time! Where art thou, S.W, and your…after every sentence…like this…uh huh????