Braves pitcher John Smoltz is 41 years old. He has been a starter, a closer, a starter again and (briefly) a reliever again. He has come back from multiple elbow surgeries. Today, his shoulder feels shot.

But the Associated Press reports he isn’t ready to concede retirement just yet.

“It wouldn’t surprise me if he came back as a left-handed pitcher,” Marlins manager Fredi Gonzalez quipped.

“I’ve pulled off a lot of miracles,” Smoltz told reporters during a news conference Wednesday afternoon. “I probably shouldn’t have played this long. I’m looking forward to seeing if I can extend it.”

Here is ESPN’s Jayson Stark’s take on his persistence:

“He wanted one more year. He wanted to do something — anything — to help a Braves team he had great hopes for. He was willing to go back to the bullpen, improvise his best Dan Quisenberry delivery imitation, pitch even a few innings a week just to make some kind of impact. Except that wasn’t possible. His shoulder kept trying to tell him that. But John Smoltz wouldn’t listen — until Monday, when he couldn’t protect a ninth-inning lead in his home park and could barely raise his arm afterward.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while Mark Mulder searches for a new arm slot he can work with:

• Did Sweden stay up late (or get up early) to watch the Red Wings win the Stanley Cup?
• Will Adam Wainwright have to play some outfield to get the Cards through today’s day-night doubleheader?
• So how is that “ear” on the side of James Thompson’s skull feeling after getting (Kimbo) Sliced?

PACKER 1, BURGLAR 0

The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel had this update from up north: “Green Bay Packers running back Noah Herron fought off intruders during a burglary to his Village of Howard home, striking one with a bed post that he unscrewed from his bed last weekend.”

That suspect, by the way, is still hospitalized.

DAVE DUNCAN CAN RELATE

Jason Marquis won his last start for the Cubs despite throwing just 57 strikes in 105 pitches. During the fourth inning of this struggle, manager Lou Piniella came to the mound and lectured him.

“It was one-sided, obviously,” Marquis told the Chicago Tribune. “He had some productive words, and we’ll go from there. No hard feelings. He made great points. I tried to do the job I needed to do.”

Piniella told him to start throwing strikes, pronto. Marquis did not debate the point.

“Just listen and take constructive criticism,” Marquis said. “He sees something and wants to let you know. It helped out.”

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Steve Rosenbloom, ChicagoSports.com: “I thought I heard something about a Lakers-Celtics NBA Finals. Did anyone else hear something like that? Don’t you wonder how this happened? The Celtics’ stuff, I understand. That made sense from the start with the acquisitions of Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen in the weak Eastern Conference. But the Lakers, well, huh? I mean, if you’d have said last October that they were going to the NBA Finals amid Kobe’s rumored trade to the Bulls, then it would take some kind of lopsided, mind-boggling conspiratorial trade for, oh, a Pau Gasol in exchange for a handful of magic beans, and even then you’d need some referees to conspire to make sure that a call was or wasn’t made and . . . oh, wait, this is the NBA. I forgot. Never mind. I think I know exactly how this happened.”

Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times, recalling how Kobe Bryant was angling for a deal to the Bulls last year: “Avoiding Chicago is the best thing ever to happen to Kobe. While the Bulls crumbled beneath rumors of his arrival and never recovered, free-falling to a current disarray that finds Jerry Reinsdorf and John Paxson feebly unable to name a coach, Bryant is entrenched as the biggest star in American sports who doesn’t swing a golf club. In a transformation no one could have anticipated even in Hollywood, Bryant left behind his daily trade demands and anti-management attacks, united with his Lakers teammates, finally melded his extraordinary talents with Phil Jackson’s vision and evolved into one of the greatest players and finishers ever.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times, on reckless Cubs outfielder Alfonso Soriano: “Poor Alfonso. “It’s not just that the Bleacher Bums are booing him for his loose outfield play, it’s that most of them think Steve Bartman has a better glove.”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com: “I think Phil Jackson gets my vote as ‘Guy I’d Most Want As My Grandfather If I Were a College Student,’ narrowly edging Jack Nicklaus and Jack Nicholson. Think about it: Jackson is like a walking fortune cookie, he’s a great guy, he’s a basketball savant, he’d cut you motivational tapes and buy you inspiring books if your grades fell, he’d take you to Pearl Jam concerts during the summers, and if that’s not enough, he probably has a great weed connection. Really no downside to being related to the Zen Master.”

Jeff Schultz, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “There is a point at which a troubled athlete loses the benefit of the doubt. When Odell Thurman misses offseason works, his agent cites the grandmother’s death as an excuse and Cincinnati coach Marvin Lewis responds, ‘His grandmother’s been buried for quite a while,’ you know he’s lost that benefit.”

MEGAPHONE

“When Larry (Bird) and I played, the shoe deals were small, most guys didn’t have one. There were no earrings or tattoos. When we played the shorts were hot pants, and now they’re, what, below the knees.”

Former Lakers star Magic Johnson.