Let the New York Post get you up to speed on the Madonna-Alex Rodriguez rumors:

“After months of divorce rumors swirling around Madonna and hubbie Guy Ritchie, Us magazine alleges that the 49-year-old pop star is cavorting with Yankees’ star swinger Alex Rodriguez, 32.

“The magazine reported that not only has A-Rod been making late-night visits to Madge’s Central Park West apartment, but he also was at her place soon after his wife, Cindy, gave birth to their second daughter.

“A source told the magazine that Rodriguez visited the singer possibly as early as the night after his wife gave birth. A source told the magazine that “all the doormen are talking” about the Yankee’s visits.

“There have been several other incidents recently highlighting the pair’s budding friendship.

“The Queen of Pop sat in A-Rod’s seats at Yankee Stadium during a June 22 game, and he went to her ‘thank you’ concert at the Roseland Ballroom on May 30, and then partied with her at The Box afterward.

“The two were spotted dining together in Santa Monica in February, and, earlier that same month, A-Rod attended a Madge-hosted fundraiser for Malawi and Unicef.

“A rep for Madonna told People magazine today Ritchie is in New York to spend time with his family, not to finalize a divorce. The rep also denied reports that Madonna and Ritchie are divorcing, and said Madonna and A-Rod only know each other because they share a manager, Guy Oseary.”

This is all very, very disturbing.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering if the Cards need to shut down Todd Wellemeyer for a spell:

• Now that Tampa Bay has a real big league baseball team, can that market get a real big league stadium?
• Can all we agree that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell has a valid point about outrageous rookie contracts?
• Seriously, shouldn’t some of that money go to veterans who have actually done something in the NFL?

NBA HIRES NEW SHERIFF

Hoping to move past the Tim Donaghy scandal, NBA commissioner David Stern has brought Army Maj. Gen. Ronald L. Johnson aboard as senior vice president of referee operations.

Johnson served for 32 years as a combat engineer. From 2003-04, he oversaw $18 billion of reconstruction in Iraq. His new job could be just as challenging.

“I’m thrilled,” ref-baiting Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban said. “I think it’s the perfect hire.”

THE CASE FOR THE DH

Cubs pitcher Ted Lilly threw a gem Monday night, working eight innings in Chicago’s 9-2 victory at San Francisco. But he was hitless in five at bats – striking out all five times.

“I felt like I tried every different swing and every different stance,” he told reporters. “I don’t think that I put much fear in any of those pitchers. I guess once the scouting report gets out, I’m done now.”

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “Looks like NFL WR Randy Moss has bought majority interest is a motorsports team that will become Randy Moss Motorsports. Yeah, it’s easy to see Randy blending in as one of the good ol’ boys.”

T.J. Simers, Los Angeles Times: “So the Clippers have come to an agreement with Baron Davis, Elton Brand is next and if this keeps up, someone is going to make the argument (team owner) Donald Sterling is trying to win. Or he must have been out of the country.”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com: “There’s a ceiling for sports dreams. You can fall in love 20 times, but you’ll never care about anyone in quite the same demented way you cared about your first girlfriend or boyfriend—those three-hour phone calls, all the sappy letters and mortifying mix tapes, the nauseating PDAs. For sports fans, winning a title after a prolonged wait is like falling for that first girlfriend. Win it in an especially memorable way, and that girlfriend is also the best girl you’re ever going to meet.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Still trying to make sense of this episode in Houston, the one in which Astros general manager Ed Wade told struggling pitcher Shawn Chacon to ‘look in the mirror,’ and Chacon proceeded to grab him by the neck and throw him to the ground. I dunno, maybe Wade was blocking Chacon’s view of the mirror.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “American tennis pro Justin Gimelstob, 31, is under fire for sexist comments about women’s players. Dear Justin: Please be as quiet as your career accomplishments.”

Dwight Perry, Seattle Times: “Chris Eaton, the world’s 661st-ranked tennis player, drives a modest Vauxhall Astra — complete with a taped-up side mirror — and he says that won’t change even after he won more than $40,000 at Wimbledon. But, he admitted to BBC Sport, ‘Maybe I will buy some better duct tape.’”

MEGAPHONE

“Nothing’s been wrong with me. I’ve been in great shape all year. I just wasn’t getting the chance to play. I’ve always played every day, and last year when I didn’t that was one of the reasons I wanted to be on another team, to be able to get a chance to play every day.”

Cubs outfielder Jim Edmonds, on leaving San Diego for prosperity in Chicago.