And Tipsheet appreciates his theatrics.

With the Dodgers leading the Phillies 8-6 after eight innings Monday, Manny Ramirez did not head out to his post in left field. The team had to send folks to look for him.

Perhaps Ramirez believed he had been pulled from the game for a defensive replacement, a reasonable concept for sure. Manager Joe Torre theorized that Manny mistook his eighth-inning salute with the signal that he was done for the night.

Manny offered a different explanation, the Associated Press reported.

“I just went to the bathroom,” Ramirez told reporters. “All the guys said, ‘Hey, we play nine in here.’”

Teammate Jeff Kent could only roll his eyes.

“When he came out, his jersey was half undone,” Kent said. “So if he was going to the bathroom, he takes his jersey off to do it.”

Deadspin’s Rick Chandler had this take: “Of course, Manny’s plan seems to be to stay in LA just barely long enough to learn where all the restrooms are. The New York Post said on Saturday that he really wants to be a Yankee, and will go there at the end of the season when he becomes a free agent. And for little more reason than he just wants to (tick) off the Red Sox.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering when Chris Carpenter will pitch again?

• Given Carpenter’s issues, should the Cards have taken a run at free-agent pitcher Freddy Garcia?
• Is it overkill to deploy scantily-clad cheerleaders at beach volleyball matches?
• Or is it just good clean fun for male viewers?
• And what’s with all those empty seats at Olympic venues? Wasn’t the host country supposed to fill the seats with overzealous fans?

STUDENT-ATHLETES + INTERNET = TROUBLE

So here we go again: College athletes losing their scholarships over something displayed on the World Wide Web.

This time two Nebraska wrestlers, Paul Donahoe and Kenny Jordan, bit the short haircut. According to the Associated Press, a blog posted images of them taken from Fratmentv.com, a Web site featuring naked or partially clothed male athletes.

Uh, oh.

“The history of behavior of these men, including the current matter, does not reflect the standard of excellence we aspire to on and off the mat,” wrestling coach Mark Manning said in a statement. “We have outstanding student-athletes in our program and we will move forward in a positive manner toward our goals.”

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Elliott Harris, Chicago Sun-Times: ‘Whatever the opposite of human growth hormone is, that sure looks like what some female Olympic gymnasts must be on.”

David Thomas, Fort Worth Star-Telegram, on the Olympic time difference: “If I have it figured correctly, when it’s noon here, it’s 1 a.m. tomorrow at the Olympics and sometime last night on NBC.”

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “Where did Ukraine get those turquoise and yellow outfits? Again, they made me think of classic TV — The Love Boat.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Isn’t it about time baseball named its disabled list in honor of Cubs pitcher Kerry Wood?”

Gregg Easterbrook, ESPN.com: “Olympic officials forbid French athletes to wear badges that said ‘for a better world,’ ruling this violated strictures against political statements. Apparently the notion that the world should be “better” is too controversial for the Olympics! Then again — in a better world, there would be no bribes.”

MEGAPHONE

“I wouldn’t miss that series. I would be watching it. We’re not going to back down.”

Billy Butler of the Royals, on their series with the combative White Sox.