Tipsheet understands why fans would pay ticket scalpers or brokers an inflated price for hot tickets. If you really want to attend a big game, you do whatever it takes.

But why would fans buy options on tickets that may never come available? That’s what overeager Cubs fans are doing in Chicago.

MarketWatch told the story of one Lowell Bike, who spent $1,700 through Firstdibz.com for the option to buy Cubs World Series tickets. If the Cubs actually get that far, he will get to purchase those tickets for face value.

That would be a heck of a deal. But this deal won’t be so good if the Small Bears fail to fulfill their destiny this season.

“It’s worth the risk,” Bike said. “The market is so hyped for even regular-season Cubs tickets. It’ll be even tighter for the playoffs and I want to be guaranteed tickets.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while Steven Jackson tries to get back into football shape:

• We know Jackson has come catching up to do, but could he address the lousy Edward Jones Dome sound system in his spare time?
• Given the booming popularity of beach volleyball, will Olympic officials invent a new sport involving lingerie?
• On the other hand, why did the IOC cut baseball and softball from the Summer Olympics while embracing BMX bicycle racing?
• Isn’t that what the X Games are for?

KIDS WILL BE KIDS

Here is another reminder that college coaches can’t babysit players 24/7, as much as they would like to:

LAWRENCE, Kan. (AP) — Markieff Morris, an incoming freshman basketball player at Kansas, is facing a battery charge after allegedly firing a BB gun from his dorm window.

The 18-year-old, a member of coach Bill Self’s 2008 recruiting class along with his twin brother, Marcus, has been ordered to appear Sept. 10 in Lawrence Municipal Court, the Lawrence Journal-World reported Wednesday on its Web site.

Campus police said shots were fired about 11:15 p.m. Saturday from a room in the Jayhawker Towers. A 47-year-old Wisconsin woman was in the dorm’s courtyard about the same time and reported being shot in the arm with a plastic BB. The woman suffered minor injuries, according to the newspaper.

Morris is also suspected of using alcohol during the incident.

You think?

OLYMPIC INSPIRATION

Comes in all forms, as CNBC reports.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Jay Mariotti, Chicago Sun-Times: “He’s a showboat, a hot dog and a clown, the sprinting version of Chad Johnson and Terrell Owens, all those things that cause Bob Costas and the purists to cringe. And thank God for that, by the way. Because if it wasn’t for the show-business flair of Usain Bolt, we merely would know him as that fast guy who became the first man ever to break world records in the 100 and 200 meters at the same Olympics. Instead, The Lightning Bolt is the new rage of sports, saving the Summer Games from post-Phelps yawns and creating a new, delicious debate. That is: Are his antics un-Olympian and discourteous to his beaten rivals, or is he just delightful.”

Joe Posnanski, Kansas City Star: “There are things I never expected to see in my lifetime. I never expected to see anyone win eight gold medals in a single Olympics. I never expected to see a jukebox the size of an iPod. I never expected to see a man hit more than 70 home runs in a season. I never expected to see yet another Batman movie sweep America. More than any of that, though, I never expected to see a human being run faster than Michael Johnson did under a snowstorm of camera flashes on a muggy August night in Atlanta a dozen years ago.”

David Thomas, Fort Worth Star-Telegram: “The only thing open for debate, is how much lower the time could have been had the Jamaican runner not spent the final 15 meters thumping his chest, waving to competitors, signing autographs and doing the Hokey Pokey.”

Jim Caple, ESPN.com: “Women wearing revealing bikinis with rain streaming down their sculpted bodies, while American popular music plays and cheerleaders dance in the sand, might be a TV executive’s idea of must-see prime time, but it’s hardly what Mao ever envisioned for China. But then again, did Mao ever envision a Communist country where there now are shopping malls that include Cartier, Versace and Ferrari?”

“My tummy hurts and my head is mush, but it feels so good. I’m going to have a smile on my face all day.”

Kerri Walsh, after winning the beach volleyball gold.