Last week was busy for Bengals receiver Chad Johnson. First came reports he was considering changing his legal name to “Ocho Cinco” for marketing purposes.

Then came his rip on Olympic hero Michael Phelps during an appearance on ESPN’s “Pardon the Interruption.”

“The problem with Michael Phelps is there’s no competition where he is,” Johnson said. “Now if he came to where I’m from, which is the inner city, Liberty City [in Miami], I was the three-time Charles Hadley Pool champ. . . . I know a couple people who could beat Michael Phelps right now. Seriously, I’m telling you. And I’m one of them.”

This from a guy who raced a horse for PR purposes. But he got a head start for that one.

While we would all love to see Johnson battle Phelps in the pool, the match race could be on hold for a while. Johnson suffered a shoulder injury in Cincinnati’s preseason game Sunday.

“I think he should be ready by the opener,” Bengals coach Marvin Lewis said. “Some of these things come back right away, and they’re ready to go.”

EAT LIKE AN OLYMPIAN!

Here is one man’s “bid” to eat a Phelps-like breakfast:

That’s just nasty. Thanks to The Big Lead for bringing this to our attention.

TEAM USA ABUSES A TURNCOAT

Tipsheet enjoyed watching the Redeem Team crush Germany in Olympic basketball Monday morning. Also enjoying this blowout victory was Chris Kaman’s father.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering when Chris Carpenter will pitch again:

• Is Kyle Lohse’s free-agent market value creeping back down into the Cards’ price range?
• Say, what’s Mark Mulder up to these days? Can he still pick up his paycheck with that weakened shoulder?
• Is it too soon to say the Rams have a quarterback controversy? Or should we go ahead and start wearing Trent Green jerseys around town?

FAVRE PUZZLES OUT JETS OFFENSE

New Jets quarterback Brett Favre will be the first to admit he doesn’t relish the mental side of his job – hour after hour, day after day of playbook review and video study.

So the Jets are trying to accommodate him.

“He’s into crossword puzzles,” Jets coach Eric Mangini said. “So take the information, put it in a form of a crossword puzzle and give him that. I don’t know if he likes it or not, but give it a shot.”

When he is done doing whatever he is doing for the Jets, Favre will be welcomed back in Green Bay as a retiree.

TRENDING UP

Ryan Ludwick, Chris Perez, Felipe Lopez, Ryan Dempster, Usain Bolt, the Redeem Team, the U.S. swim team, China’s gymnastics team, Rafael Nadal, Misty May-Treanor, Carl Edwards, Los Angeles Dodgers, Mike Hampton.

TRENDING DOWN

Jaime Garcia, Mike Parisi, Tyson Gay, U.S. boxing team, fairness by the Olympic gymnastics judging, Washington Generals, er, Nationals, Tom Glavine, Alfonso Soriano’s hustle, Team USA’s basketball competition.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “In the year of the make-believe superhero-Batman, Hancock, Iron Man-we’ve finally got a real one. No special effects needed for Michael Phelps. He does his own stunts. Instant superhero, just add water.”

Pat Forde, ESPN.com: “NBC said 66 million people tuned in to at least six minutes of its prime-time telecast Friday, when Phelps somehow won the 100-meter butterfly by one-hundredth of a second for his seventh gold medal. That dwarfs virtually any non-Super Bowl sporting event, and it proves one thing: Michael Phelps single-handedly saved the Olympics. These Beijing Olympics, and perhaps those to come. The entire enterprise has new life.”

Mike Lupica, New York Daily News: “Michael Phelps is the greatest swimmer of all time, not the greatest athlete of all time, unless you think Mark Spitz held the title of greatest athlete for all the years since Munich. Phelps is an amazing figure, but he isn’t the greatest athlete in the world any more than Tiger Woods is.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “The Chinese have come under fire for using girls quite obviously younger than the 16-year-old minimum to compete in gymnastics. Bela Karolyi called them ‘half people.’ I didn’t see what the big deal was until I noticed two of the Chinese gymnasts arriving for the competition in their coach’s backpack.”

Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel: “Air pollution, censorship, human rights violations, accusations of cheating and suspicion of performance-enhancing drugs. Ah, don’t you love the purity of the Olympics? . . . And I swear to you I have a pair of longjohns older than those Chinese gymnasts.”

Mark Kiszla, Denver Post: “This 24/7, camera-clicking, name-chanting worship of (Kobe) Bryant by the local masses at the Olympics might be the strangest foreign love affair with a U.S. pop icon since the French decided Jerry Lewis was a comic genius.”

MEGAPHONE

“I don’t think I’d be sitting here 14 years in professional baseball if I believed in criticism.”

Carl Pavano, after struggling through another minor league rehab appearance for the Yankees.