If you think the Rams have trouble . . .
If you have Lane Kiffin in your NFL Coaches Dead Pool, you’re feeling very good today.
The San Jose Mercury-News reported Sunday that Raiders owner Al Davis will cashier Kiffin as head coach. This was before Oakland throttled the Chiefs – but apparently that game didn’t factor into the equation.
“I don’t worry about things I can’t control,” Kiffin said. “It’s not my decision as to whether I can be here or not, so I don’t worry about it.”
The Raiders make the Rams appear well-run by comparison. Back in January, Davis asked Kiffin to resign and the coach refused.
Kiffin wanted defensive coordinator Rob Ryan fired, but Davis refused. Ryan all but begged Davis to fire him – he had multiple offers on the table from other teams – but crazy Al refused.
Against this backdrop, the Raiders plowed forward into another season of near-certain doom.
After the Raiders opened the season with a 41-14 loss to the Broncos, Kiffin fobbed off responsibility for the defensive collapse. Ryan runs the defense, Kiffin observed, with regular input from Davis.
At Al’s urging, Rob fired back. Among the highlights of his 18-minute outburst:
“When I deal with Al Davis, guys, it’s in the offseason. And here’s the thing: Al Davis knows football. And I’ll have four-hour conversations with him in the offseason about everything in this league. About offenses, about players, about scheme, about everything, but during the week, guys, I don’t have time to talk to my wife, OK? If I’m going to make one phone call, it’s going to be her, all right? That’s the truth. I’m just telling you the truth.”
Consider that Ryan’s pitch to replace Kiffin. And it should work.
AND SPEAKING OF RYAN
He fired this all-to-true salvoes at reporters: “I’m sure there’s times when you put your work out there and sometimes it doesn’t work out like Pulitzer Prize stuff, either, but the difference is, when you guys are out there you can hit spell check, and after I call a bad one, I can’t hit spell check.”
MICHAEL PHELPS, COMEDIC ACTOR
He did pretty good on “Saturday Night Live”, all things considered. Here is a look at his preparations:
MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE
Questions to ponder while wondering why the Rams folded like a $10 tent in a windstorm Sunday:
- Will we ever see the Rams actually get to run an offensive play in the red zone this season?
- Does Scott Linehan realize that he came THIS CLOSE to qualifying for a Coors Light commercial with that post-game outburst?
- Not to be overly negative or anything, but will the Rams sell even one more ticket this season?
- Is USC that good or was Ohio State THAT overrated?
- Are we to assume that Carlos Zambrano’s shoulder is not so sore any more?
- Will the Brewers ever win another game?
QUIPS ‘R US
Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:
Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Former Marlins pitcher Dontrelle Willis on Monday makes his first start for the Tigers in months after spending most of the season in Single A with control problems. Remember how we called him ‘D Train’? In Detroit he’s been ‘D-minus Train.’
Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel: “For some reason, since Chad Johnson changed his name, I keep calling him Chad Yoko Ono.”
Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “Huge flaw of the new MLB home-run replay system: No managerial challenges. Asking umps to challenge their own calls is like asking taxpayers to volunteer for IRS audits.”
Chris Dufresne, Los Angeles Times: “ ‘I never saw it coming,’ was Notre Dame Coach Charlie Weis’ quote after getting plowed over on the sideline by Irish defensive end John Ryan, but it also could have served as the quote from four Pac-10 coaches who lost games to Mountain West schools. Here’s a thought: If USC is lost to the national title game this season, shouldn’t the Rose Bowl seriously consider replacing the Trojans with an undefeated Mountain West champion instead of the No. 2 team from the Pac-10?”
Dwight Perry, Seattle Times: “It’s the mother of all cheerleading scandals. Wendy Brown, 33, is facing identity-theft charges in Green Bay, Wis., after she allegedly used her 15-year-old daughter’s name to not only enroll as a sophomore at Ashwaubenon High School — but she made the cheerleading squad. According to WLUK-TV, Brown told authorities she was ‘trying to regain part of her life she missed’ while her daughter was away living with her grandmother in Nevada. Possible sentences include 2, 4, 6, 8 months in jail.”
MEGAPHONE
“We didn’t get none of those big plays. We didn’t let people know what we stand for today. I don’t care what kind of injuries the offense had. We don’t give up big plays. We get off the field on third down. And get turnovers 24/7. That’s what we stand for.”
Seahawks safety Deon Grant, after Seattle fell to the Niners.
Before we get to the atrocity that is the local “professional” football team – Is it just me or is it pretty cool to see the Brewers tank for the second year in a row?
I just checked with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service and it is official –Mark Bulger is on the Endangered Species List.
Shouldn’t someone tell the Rams coaching staff that it is okay to start a drive outside of the 25 yard line?
I agree with EVERYTHING Bernie has talked about. Other than the Punter and Kicker, the Rams are totally overmatched at virtually every other position on the field. Why draft these players and not let them see the field? Why is Dane Looker a starting WR? Why is Hall out there as the 3rd WR, they have no speed and put no fear in the opposing defense.
Gordo, no one cares about the Raiders, Kiffin can only hope that Davis gives him the short haircut. In case you haven’t noticed, the Rams have plenty of issues to discuss.
Regarding Mizzou, was it really necessary to run the fake field goal up 45-17?