Jamie Martin is back!

He’s not back with the Rams, of course, but with Mike Martz. With quarterback Alex Smith sidelined with a broken shoulder, Mad Mike gave the perpetual No. 3 quarterback a call from San Francisco.

Martin is a 49er. His grasp of the Martz offense – along with the fact he had his cell phone on – made him the perfect candidate to help the Niners get through this season.

Martin, 38, has been staying shape by playing catch with his 10-year-old son in St. Louis. He will be reunited on the practice field with Rams icon Isaac Bruce.

“I think it shocked him when he saw me walking through the locker room today,” Martin told the San Francisco Chronicle.

You think?

As for Smith, his run in San Francisco appears up. He collected $24 million in guaranteed money from the team and never got much done.

He will finish the year on injured reserve, then await his cut in the offseason as Martz takes the offense in a different direction. Smith will rank among the all-time draft busts in NFL history.

“I don’t think he’s a bust at all,” back-up 49ers quarterback Shan Hill said. “Trent (Dilfer) and I were so excited last year about what he was going to do. He looked so good in the preseason, so good throughout practice. This is very sad that it’s happened to him again with the injury. He’s not a bust. Untimely things happen.”

But Niners fans piled on after Smith’s demise became public. Among the comments by Chronicle readers:

“Good riddance Timberlake.”

Ouch!

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while college football programs work around all these hurricanes and tropical storms:

• Can you feel the national groundswell building for Albert Pujols’ MVP candidacy?
• When Yadier Molina gets wiped out by a pitcher, do you get the feeling it’s just not the Cardinals season?
• On the other hand, should the Cubs start worrying about Kerry Wood? Can they go far in the playoffs with a shaky closer?

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Steve Rosenbloom, Chicago Tribune: “Look, the Cubs are going to make the playoffs. Their magic number to win the division is 15. It’s 11 to clinch at least a wild-card spot. Ned Yost’s Brewers choke worse than the Cubs could imagine, and the Phillies can’t seem to catch the Mets, so don’t sweat the worst-case scenario of falling out of the wild card.”

Will Leitch, Deadspin: “What do you think is going to happen when Mike Martz is (inevitably) fired from this job? How’s he going to find a way to be captured by the camera on the sidelines, looking all sinister? I think it’s the only thing keeping him alive at this point.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “The LPGA has backed down from its controversial plan to require all players to be fluent in English and instead is now considering a plan to require all players to speak Portuguese.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Turning to baseball, the Brewers plan to have a special seating area at Miller Park next season for Harley-Davidson owners. Fans using the 42-seat deck will “be able to park in an exclusive, motorcycle-only lot,” the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports. It’s all part of the club’s No Hell’s Angel Left Behind policy.”

David Thomas, Fort Worth Star-Telegram: “It’s kind of difficult to explain, but I felt this sense that everything in the world is going to be all right when I turned on the first game of the NFL season and saw Ed Hochuli.”

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “ESPN must love showing the freaks in the Oakland Raiders stands. Why else annually showcase a team that has lost its last three primetime games by a total score of 84-14?”

Dwight Perry, Seattle Times: “In women’s hockey qualifiers for the 2010 Winter Olympics, Bulgaria lost 30-1 to Croatia, 41-0 to Italy — and 82-0 to Slovakia. Suggested team motto: The Puck Doesn’t Stop Here.”

MEGAPHONE

“We create babies in the minor leagues and get babies in the big leagues. They need to fail in the minors to learn how to handle it, but teams won’t let their top prospects fail, so they get to the big leagues and fail and don’t know what to do with themselves.”

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, to the Chicago Daily Herald.