Maybe the Rams have a chance against the Bears after all.

Former NFL lineman Warren Sapp looked over the Chicago defense and was appalled by what he saw.

“Holy smokes! I wouldn’t think I’d see something like this,” Sapp told WSCR-AM in Chicago. “I know Lovie Smith, and I know the type of work that he puts in week-in and week-out. He can’t be happy with this.

“I’m watching a drive right now that is pretty much ‘road grade’ is what we call this. You get all the pebbles out of the way and you lay a nice, smooth track and you bring the cars through there.”

Smith, the former Rams defensive coordinator, deploys a three-man front with the Bears. Sapps wonders why.

“Put four people on the line and say, ‘You either go get them or you find yourself a new job,’” he said. “It’s not that you forgot how to rush. It’s that you weren’t working in the offseason to prepare yourself to rush. And now you have a dull knife in a ballgame. With a dull knife, you ain’t cutting much.”

Thanks to the Chicago Sun-Times for this encouraging note for the Rams. Maybe they can get to halftime Sunday without falling behind by five or six touchdowns.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering if Orlando Pace will ever play another game for the Rams:

• Is Paul Kariya is ready to carry the Blues offense for the next two months while Andy McDonald heals?
• Isn’t Mark Cuban relieved that this SEC beef will go to court – and to a panel of NBA officials – for resolution?
• If the Dodgers are going to sign a $100 million free agent, shouldn’t it go to C.C. Sabathia instead of Manny Ramirez?

TONY ROMO, HUMANITARIAN

We already knew Tony Romo is a charitable person by nature. After all, he has been willing to lug all of Jessica Simpson’s baggage day after day.

A normal man couldn’t last two weeks living that horror.

And remember when he helped a stranded couple by changing their tire on the side of a Dallas highway late at night? The Dallas Morning News tells us he topped that gesture by taking a homeless man to the movies, to see “Role Model.”

The homeless guy, who goes by the name “Doc,” warned Romo that he hadn’t showered in days.

“Don’t worry about that,” Romo said, according to the newspaper. “I’m used to locker rooms.”

Doc enjoyed his time with Romo. “For me, it was a blessing,” he said. “It came at just the right time. It gave me some encouragement and faith in mankind. I just wanted to say thank you.”

Oh, and here is footage of Romo and actor Will Smith appearing at a pep rally at Lake Highlands High School in Dallas:

We can’t expect Marc Bulger to date pop stars, assist motorists or socialize with homeless guys, but couldn’t he bring Will Smith to the occasional high school pep rally?

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “You watch Joe Calzaghe pummel an almost 40-year-old Roy Jones Jr. the other night? Pathetic. Jones used to be the best fighter pound for pound. Now he’s pounded and pounded.”

Jeff Schultz, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “The good news for Cuban: Even if he is found guilty and the NBA suspends him, he can always find a job in the NHL. They’ll take anybody. When Tampa Bay fired coach Barry Melrose after only 16 games, it named Rich Tocchet interim head coach. This is the same Rich Tocchet who last year pled guilty to conspiracy and promoting gambling in connection with a nationwide sports gambling ring. He also played in the World Series of Poker last July. Seven months later, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman reinstated him. Wonder if Tocchet is still giving odds on NHL games?”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “News item: A California vineyard is putting portraits of the pit bulls from Michael Vick’s dogfighting operation on a line of boutique red wines. Comment: Boy, I’m sure glad they beat the Mad Dog people to it.”

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “Don’t you know that if NFL ref Ed ‘Hercules’ Hochuli was watching the end of the San Diego-Pittsburgh fiasco, he was thinking ‘Thank God I’m not there.’”

MEGAPHONE

“It’s kind of like asking a married man what he would do if he found his wife cheating on him. If you’ve never been in that situation, you really don’t know how you’re going to react. Michigan fans have never been in this situation, so the patience thing is a big question. There’s no way in the world he can have a season next year like he had this year and he still be in Ann Arbor. That would not happen.”

Former Michigan star Desmond Howard, on UM fans losing patience with new coach Rich Rodriguez.