After USC wasted Washington 56-0, the Trojans actually fell from fifth to seventh in the BCS rankings. They lost ground despite shutting out their fourth opponent in four games.

How could this happen? USC coach Pete Carroll was understandably baffled.

“I don’t understand how the thing works, I don’t really know,” he said, according to the Associated Press. “Maybe you guys will answer for it one of these days. Maybe you know and I don’t. I’m sure you do.

“What is the criteria of the process? Is it to pick the team that has the best season, that has the season that you like the most and feel best about voting for? Or is it the best team at the end of the year, the team that would win a playoff system if you did have it?”

Alas, we won’t see a playoff system any time soon. The current system, such as it is, makes too much money.

“I think it stinks,” Carroll said. “I don’t think it’s the way it should be. But all we can do is keep talking about it.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Question to ponder while wondering how the Blues will replace T.J. Oshie’s amazing energy level:

• Who could have guessed that A.J. Burnett would opt out of his contract and pursue greater riches in the free-agent marketplace?
• Are Rams fans jacked up for the Samkon Gado Era?
• Rather than release Russ Weil from the practice squad, shouldn’t the Rams have promoted him to the active roster?

POINT, COUNTERPOINT

Dolphins linebacker Joey Porter needled Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall after Miami dumped Denver 26-17.

“He’s one of those soft receivers, where he has to have the ball all the time. If he don’t get it, he’s going to mope and cry. He did it to himself,” Porter suggested in his post-game debriefing.

When reporters gathered at Marshall’s locker Tuesday, Brandon returned fire.

“Yeah, Joey Porter’s one of them guys, when you got guys who talk a lot of trash, just want to talk about people or put people down, they have their own insecurities,” Marshall said. “And his insecurities I don’t know. But he’s definitely one of those guys who all those muscles are popcorn muscles. He’s soft.”

Popcorn muscles?

“You know, we hear stories floating around the league all the time about him as far [as being] in nightclubs dancing with his shirt off like a girl or in the playground getting beat up back in California,” Marshall said. “He’s one of those guys that no matter how big he is, he can still get knocked on his butt and he’s soft. He’s soft at heart and you can tell by the way he talks.

“And his nickname is ‘Peezy.’ I don’t know what ‘Peezy’ is.”

Too bad these teams don’t play more often . . .

AN INSPIRATION FOR OLD PEOPLE

This may even prompt Tipsheet to get back on the court at the YMCA.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Norman Chad, syndicated columnist: “(David) Beckham’s on-the-field effect has been negligible: The Galaxy is 14-22-12 with him on the roster; the team has missed the playoffs in both of his seasons, with the league’s worst record this year; he has five goals and 10 assists in 31 MLS games. People were hoping for a bit of Pele, and instead they got a lot of Stephon Marbury.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “The Packers just signed quarterback Aaron Rodgers to a contract extension through the 2014 season. Why 2014, you ask? Because they play the AFC East that season and are looking forward to one last matchup between Rodgers and 45-year-old Jets QB Brett Favre.”

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “Marion Jones didn’t know there was something fishy in the ‘flaxseed oil’ coach Trevor Graham gave her? That’s like Bonnie saying she thought Clyde was using his ATM card to make all those bank withdrawals.”

Elliott Harris, Chicago Sun-Times: “In the world of jurisprudence (and with Jose Canseco being involved, you better believe there is an excellent chance of having more juris than prudence), the former baseball slugger pleaded guilty in federal court in San Diego to the misdemeanor offense of trying to bring a fertility drug from Mexico into the United States. He was sentenced Tuesday to 12 months of unsupervised probation. Canseco claimed he had gone to Tijuana to find a substance to reverse damage done by steroid use. Apparently, a brain transplant was not an option.”

MEGAPHONE

“When reality hits you, it’s like, ‘OK, this is what’s happening now. Any coach out there would tell you what I’m about to say — when you have Martin Brodeur as your goaltender and he’s out for a long period of time, it certainly gives you a knot in your stomach.”

Devils coach Brent Sutter, after learning Martin Brodeur suffered a torn biceps muscle.