Missouri football fans have some perspective on Auburn’s new football coach.

That SEC powerhouse passed on Buffalo coach Turner Gill, whose up-and-coming team lost at Mizzou this season. The Bulls went on to reach the MAC Championship Game, upset previously unbeaten Ball State and earn a berth in the International Bowl in Toronto.

(Yes, that is a real bowl game – Jan. 3, featuring Connecticut as well. Make your travel plans early!)

Gill, the former Nebraska quarterback, has earned a shot at coaching a big-time program. But Auburn passed on him to hire Iowa State coach Gene Chizik – who was 5-19 in two seasons at Ames, including 0-2 against MU.

The school picked Chizik on the strength of his work as Auburn’s defensive coordinator during better times. But Auburn alums – most notably Charles Barkley – are appalled by the hire.

“I think race was the No. 1 factor,” Barkley said, according to ESPN.com. “You can say it’s not about race, but you can’t compare the two resumes and say [Chizik] deserved the job. Out of all the coaches they interviewed, Chizik probably had the worst resume.

“I’m just very disappointed. I just thought Turner Gill would be the perfect choice for two reasons: He’s a terrific coach and we needed to make a splash. I thought we had to do something spectacular to bring attention to the program. Clearly, if we’d hired a black coach, it would have created a buzz.”

Instead, the hiring created a different sort of buzz.

SEC rivals are having fun with this.

Some Alabama fans crashed the airport welcoming party for the new Auburn coach. Like the captions on this one:

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while welcoming Mike Keenan back to St. Louis for another fun night at Scottrade Center:

• Couldn’t the Blues fly Adam Creighton back to St. Louis for the ceremonial puck drop?
• Now that the Phillies have locked up Chan Ho Park, are they a lock to repeat as National League champions?
• The Cardinals can afford to bring Aaron Miles back, right? Right?

DISGUSTING NFL NOTE OF WEEK

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette shared this item after Steelers edged the Ravens. Things had been pretty civil between the two teams . . .

And then Baltimore cornerback Frank Walker had to go and spoil it. At least that’s what Steelers punter Mitch Berger said afterward.

Berger accused Walker of spitting in his face after Jeff Reed kicked the point after on Santonio Holmes’ winning 4-yard touchdown catch.

“The guy dove, he tried to take out Jeff’s knee,” said Berger, who holds for Reed’s kicks. “I went over there and he got up and he spit in my face — and they called it on Jeff for pushing him!”

Reed drew a 15-yard penalty that was marked off on his kickoff after the score.

“I tried to get in the middle to separate him but he got in my face and spit right in my mouth. He spit right in my mouth. I’m still trying to spit that … out. I was talking to him, trying to separate everybody and he spit right in my mouth.”

Yeech!

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Norman Chad, syndicated columnist, on Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren: “Before the season, he announced he was retiring after the season; he seemed pretty clear on this. Well, apparently he retired before the season. The Seahawks have played like a team coached by a man halfway to the Moose Lodge. Holmgren hasn’t just mailed it in, he’s mailed it in C.O.D. If you know you’re quitting after the season, you simply don’t concentrate as well. It’s like when you’re in elementary school: If lunch or recess is coming up, you don’t pay as much attention to state capitals because you’re only thinking about getting a Sloppy Joe before they run out of them in the cafeteria or getting onto the jungle gym before Joey Markowitz does.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Did you see John Daly lost his temper at the end of a bad round in the Australian Open and smashed a spectator’s camera? Yeah, it was a tough day for John. He had three double bogeys, three bogeys and, from the sound of things, at least three margaritas.”

Jerry Greene, Orlando Sentinel: “We all know about the radio rant by Washington RB Clinton Portis aimed at his coach. A portion: ‘It was something on my chest that I need to get off. I was itching to air it out.’ No offense, Clinton, but it sounds as if you need a good antibiotic.”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com: “Possible titles for the 2008 Browns team video: ‘We Had A Title For This But Braylon Edwards Dropped It’ . . . ‘Somebody Wake Up Coach, It’s Fourth Down’ . . . ‘The Year The Dawg Pound Was Put To Sleep’ . . . ‘Hope Is Not A Good Thing’ . . . ‘Hey, At Least LeBron Isn’t Leaving In Two Years’ . . . ‘Good God, that’s Ken Dorsey’s Music!’ . . . ‘How the Hell Did We Beat The Giants?’ . . . or my personal favorite, ‘Weekend at Cromeos’ (with a cover of Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman driving a speedboat with the soon-to-be-canned Browns coach propped up on a set of water-skis behind them).”

CURB YOUR CADDY

Tiger Woods will have to chat with his caddy, Steve Williams, about diplomacy. The professional bag carrier popped off about Phil Mickelson during an event in New Zealand.

“I wouldn’t call Mickelson a great player, ’cause I hate the [expletive],” Williams told a group, according to The Guardian newspaper of Britain.

The Star Times of New Zealand asked him about that the next day. “I don’t particularly like the guy,” Williams said. “He pays me no respect at all and hence I don’t pay him any respect. It’s no secret we don’t get along either.”

Is this golf or professional wrestling?

MEGAPHONE

“I always ask the players to be very honest when they look at the game, and be very self-critical. And so that’s what I’m going to be to myself, just criticize my overall coaching [of] this football team. Where do I need to improve, not only on Sunday, but on Wednesday, on . . . all the game-planning, all the paying attention to the detail? Those are things that I need to make good use of this time, and I will, because it hurts. I feel — I just feel like the worst coach in America to have to lose the way we’re losing.”

Redskins coach Jim Zorn, dressing himself down at a news conference.