One guy is really happy with the Khalil Greene deal: Side-winding reliever Mark Worrell, one of the Cardinals heading to San Diego to complete that deal.

Worrell became exasperated after getting just a cup of coffee with the big club, despite posting stellar numbers at Memphis. His funky delivery made him effective in the minors, but apparently his stuff didn’t measure up to the heat Chris Perez and Jason Motte could bring.

“To be quite honest with you, I was hoping they would get rid of me,” he told The Birdhouse web site after the season.  “I would like to be given a fair chance. They haven’t given me a fair chance at all. Every year, I’ve put up great numbers, out battled my competition, and up to this point I have nothing to show for it but 13 days in the big league. With almost any other team, I think I would have had a real shot.

“The Cardinals, that bullpen, struggled a lot this year. They were always looking for answers and stuff like that. I don’t know why they didn’t look at me with my numbers dominating down here. It was better than some of, numbers wise, better than some of their up-and-coming prospects. They chose to overlook me. I am going to go ahead and speak my mind from now on because I would rather be somewhere else. I think they should have given me a shot and I did all the stuff to get that shot. Obviously, they didn’t want to give it to me.”

Now he is a Padre, with every opportunity to stick in the bullpen.

MATT HASSELBECK TALKS SMACK

The Associated Press recounted the visit Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck made to a Seattle-area middle school.

“Do you think girls should be allowed to play in the NFL?” one girl asked.

“Girls can play in the NFL. Ben Roethlisberger plays for the Steelers, right?” Hasselbeck quipped.

“Joking. Totally joking. That was a joke.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while awaiting John Mozeliak’s next move:

• Will Edgar Renteria be able to turn back his clock for the Giants?
• Is anybody staying home today to watch the O.J. Simpson sentencing?
• When Mike Keenan walks into Scottrade Center, will he reflexively attempt to trade one of his players for Stephane Matteau?
• Will Rickey Henderson give the greatest Hall of Fame acceptance speech ever? Will Rickey be the goofiest Hall of Famer ever?

CIRCUS SHOT OF THE WEEK

Larry Bird would be proud of this one.

HAVE DOGS, DON’T NEED TREADMILL

Pistons guard Richard Hamilton doesn’t need home exercise equipment or a personal trainer to remain in top shape. His dogs take care of that.

“If you let dogs outside after they’ve been in the house all day, the first thing they want to do is take off,” Hamilton told USA Today. “So I get out of the house and take off with them and run till they quit. And if you know anything about dogs, they don’t quit for a long time.”

THE HARD LIFE OF NFL PLAYERS

How come Tipsheet never gets an invite to such parties?

Fortunately, there was no gunplay this time around . . .

WHEN HOCKEY CAREERS GO SOUTH

Dreams die hard in the low minor leagues.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Gene Wojciechowski, ESPN.com:  “What does your coaching idol Bill Parcells always say? You are your record. Your record during the past two seasons is a school-worst 9-15. You’re 0-for-4 against USC. I’m not sure you could defeat the Song Girls. You’ve lost both of your bowl games. You don’t have a signature victory. So it’s pretty much time to quit flashing your Super Bowl rings to recruits and bragging about your schematic brain power. We know you’re a Jersey guy with Jersey guy sensibilities. But you’re not Parcells. And you’re not Bob Knight. Or Bill Belichick. So quit pretending you are who you aren’t. Quit bullying people. Quit with the arrogance. You’ve won nothing at the college level.”

Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel: “True story: Tennessee basketball Coach Bruce Pearl’s ex-wife used part of her hefty divorce settlement to open a hair and nail salon called “Alimony’s.” Now that’s what I call putting the man in manicure.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Browns quarterback Brady Quinn, out for the season with a broken index finger on his throwing hand, is still mulling whether to have it operated on. ‘I’ll just sound out all the different advice,’ he says, ‘and make a decision once I feel confident about something.’ Something tells me he won’t be asking Charlie Weis to recommend a surgeon.”

Steven Rosenbloom, ChicagoTribune.com, on the White Sox: “Kenny Williams is getting rid of the weak and bad. Nick Swisher, gone. Orlando Cabrera, gone. Now, Javier Vazquez and Boone Logan, gone and gone. Sure, Williams cleared out salary, made his team younger and maybe even faster, but what the White Sox general manager seems to be doing is culling the herd. He is preying on the weak. Get tough or get out. The marshmallow-minded Swisher gets fobbed off on suckers from the east, the selfish Cabrera gets launched, and now Vazquez gets to aggravate a new city by flat-lining in big games. Vazquez will take his choking career to Atlanta, yet another predictable stop for a guy who has the kind of stuff that makes general managers and pitching coaches drool, and then makes everyone throw up, especially if it’s a big game.”

Frank Fitzpatrick, Philadelphia Inquirer: “In yet another example of America not being ready for successful women’s professional sports, the Houston Comets are folding. The Comets won four straight WNBA titles but couldn’t overcome the fact that a great women’s professional basketball game is equivalent to a pretty good boys’ high school game.”

Ray Ratto, San Francisco Chronicle: “The Giants did their bit for suicide prevention Thursday by showing Tim Lincecum and Matt Cain that they would not be pitching in front of an all-rookie infield in 2009. If you look at it that way, Edgar Renteria makes perfect sense.”

Dwight Perry, Seattle Times: “Masik Collegiate Fragrances has come out with an official Penn State perfume and cologne, with a fragrance based on campus flowers and trees. University of Colorado chemists, not to be outdone, are already feverishly at work to bottle a distinctive smell of their own, to be called Ralphie Lauren.”

MEGAPHONE

“I played good in the National League. I feel real comfortable. Maybe I know more of the game in the National League. It’s my type of league. I like to play the game. The American League is different - you have to go for the home run and wait for hitting. That’s no excuse for what happened in the American League, but it might be why I’m so excited to get back to the National League.”

New Giants shortstop Edgar Renteria, during a conference call with reporters.