Joe Paterno Will Never, Ever Retire
Penn State icon Joe Paterno apparently wants to coach forever.
Rather than retire after another strong season for the Nittany Lions, he signed a three-year contract extension. That new hip, recently installed by doctors, has him feeling frisky.
So what if he turns 82 Sunday? So what if he will be 85 when this next contract expires?
For Paterno, age is a state of mind. “There’s no reason for me not to think I can go for a while,” he said, according to the Associated Press. “Now how long is a while? I don’t know.”
Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Phil Sheridan offered this disturbing prediction: “Sometime in 2019, the holographic Inquirer that beams directly onto the tabletop in your breakfast nook will feature a story about Joe Paterno’s frozen head coaching Penn State football from a cryogenics lab in Phoenix.”
Over the years, Paterno has been the subject of some good clean parody:
Nice shot at Michigan there.
Nice bit . . . kind of like the “Is It Older Than Jeff Gordon” contest we run periodically on KFNS.
MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE
Questions to ponder while wondering why Rams punter Donnie Jones isn’t going to the Pro Bowl:
- Did all those Eric Brewer-bashing Blues fans realize how much the team missed him Tuesday night?
- What was it about “don’t allow Calgary odd-man rushes” didn’t the Blues understand during their pre-game chat?
- Why would the Braves try to bring bring back Rafael Furcal when they already had Yunel Escobar? Might the Braves want to revisit the Jake Peavy trade?
- If Mark Teixeira and Manny Ramirez get an A-Rod deal this winter, what will that do to Albert Pujols‘ long-term bargaining power?
NFL OFFICIALS STINK THIS YEAR
Don’t take our word for it. Read the breakdown on SI.com.
QUIPS ‘R US
Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:
Mark Kriegel, FoxSports.com: “You know who’s most upset about CC Sabathia getting $161 million? The guys who make treadmills and ab-blasters.”
Gene Wojciechowski, ESPN.com: “The Detroit Lions couldn’t win the Meineke Car Care Bowl if West Virginia spotted them a touchdown. The Brett Favre-less Green Bay Packers are 5-9 and already eliminated from playoff consideration. The Jacksonville Jaguars might be the biggest disappointment in the NFL. Or is it the San Diego Chargers? But for sheer volume, for your controversy bang for your controversy buck, the NFC East is worth its own cable channel.”
Will Leitch, Deadspin: “So, to recap, the Cleveland Browns, chosen to be on national television a shocking five times this year, actually went 2-3 in those games this year. All told, that’s not so bad! It was the 2-7 in the Sunday afternoon games that got them. That’s that problem with these guys: They only play their best under the brightest spotlight! Makes sense! Unfortunately, that means they’re going 1-15 next year.”
Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle, on the damage wrought by Raiders czar Al Davis: “Bleak? The Coliseum on Sunday made the godforsaken moors of ‘Wuthering Heights’ look like the Las Vegas strip. What a picture. By the fourth quarter, only a dozen or so fans remained in the upper deck of Al’s Alps - stunned by their team’s ineptitude, pelted by the cold rain, strafed by gangs of renegade seagulls who were more aggressive than the Raiders’ tacklers. The Raiders hit the 11-loss mark Sunday, with two games left. That’s six seasons in a row with at least 11 losses.”
Norman Chad, syndicated columnist: “Like contemporary iconoclast Fidel Castro, Davis, for better or worse, has held steadfast to his system. And what is this system? A commitment to eccentricity, contrarianism and a lot of broken football lives. Nobody said it was a good system.”
MEGAPHONE
“I don’t fault the distraction. I don’t think it’s bothering this team. Injuries are bothering this team. We need Brandon Jacobs. We need Fred Robbins. We need Kareem McKenzie [injured Sunday night]. The thing is, everybody’s nicked up, though, at this time of year. Every team we’re gonna play. We just got to be mentally tough. No excuses. We have to be just like we were when it counted last year. That’s all. Nothing else.”
Giants standout Antonio Pierce, acting unperturbed about the Plaxico Burress Incident and his team’s downturn during an ESPN.com interview.
In all honesty, how is it possible that the Cardinals lack the flexibility to make two significant free agent signings as reported in the paper today? It really boggles the mind when you think about it. As stated before almost $40 million in contacts are off the books as of seasons end.
All this does is fuel the fire that Dollar Bill just cares about counting cash and not the product on the field. It is fairly safe to say that a $110 - $115 million payroll can be handled with ease while still turning a good amount of profit. For once can this organization give the impression that it is not rooting through other teams’ garbage for players? Is that really too much to ask given the amount of support year in and year out?
Who could have guessed that the Rams would strike out on Pro Bowl nominations? What no one on that killer defense or awesome offensive line deserved the nod?
Any other Blues fans getting a little tired of the up and down effort? Couldn’t tell, but it looked like Mason did not keep us in the game, again. I know we are short on defense, but to get thumped at home by Keenan and the Flames? Come one boys.
Donnie Jones deserved to go to the Pro Bowl. He just got screwed because the rest of the team stinks so badly.
> It is fairly safe to say that a $110 - $115 million payroll can be
> handled with ease while still turning a good amount of profit.
SW: Not sure if you’ve pulled your head out of your butt long enough to notice, but there is a deepening recession happening in America.
While everyone here hopes the Cards will sign some impact players, the harsh reality is that all pro sports franchises are likely to see decreases in revenue this year. Possibly sharp decreases. Anyone, any company, any organization that chooses this moment in time to increase their expenses is doing so at grave peril.
Finally, why do you even care? You’re endemic negativity will have you declaring out of the playoffs by April anyway.
Unger…it is getting really ugly, I expected much more from Mason.
I hope Erik “Jackass” Johnson is enjoying his off season.
Fark, the economy will be the convenient excuse for this off-season – what about in years past? Do you homework; this organization is well in the top 10 in baseball when it comes to overall revenue. No one is asking them to do their best Yankees impersonation but to cry poor every year is beyond old.
If you don’t want to deal in reality, don’t read my posts. Maybe you should take your Cardinal panties off every now and again.
It’s easy and fun to spend somebody else’s money, isn’t it S.W.? How do you know how much the Cardinals salary total will end up being? Let me know how much money you have and I’ll spend it for you…
Do the Cardinals really think we are going to buy this flimsy attempt to ’sign’ another free agent? Every year, same story, same result. They KNOW Fuentes wants 3 (THREE) years and over $10 mil. So, they offer 2 (TWO) years and $8 mil. That way they can use the old tired excuse….we went after . It is always 1 too many years or a million or two more dollars than they are willing to spend. I would rather them just be honest. Don’t go after the player and don’t drag this garbage out teasing the fans. It ain’t going to happen. I for one, am happy about that. Let the young fireballers close games and get experience. NO WAY they can be as bad as last year! NO WAY! But, don’t keep dangling the carrot making people who believe this organization, that they are actually attempting to sign anyone. Ain’t happenin’. Now, pass my $8 beer and I’m getting a $5 hot dog!
You may not like S.W. and his negativity, but he said weeks ago that the Cards wouldn’t sign anyone yet, and he is spot on right so far. You have to give him credit where credit is due…
The one thing about the Blues that I have respected all year long, until the past few games, is their effort game in and game out. Even when we lost I saw guys working out there. Suddenly the fire has dimmed. Maybe people are quitting on Murray? It’s frustrating watching the ups and downs of this team, but damn these young guys have some talent. I keep telling myself…try to be patient…try to be patient…
I was completely caught off guard when I found out that Alex Barron didn’t make the Pro Bowl. Doesn’t he lead the league in several categories, like off-sides penalties, missed blocks and standing around after a play for a loss with his thumb up his a–?