It’s time for America to rally behind Alabama State in the NCAA Tournament play-in game Tuesday night in Dayton.

Why?

Because 7-foot-1 center Grlenntys Chief Kickingstallionsims, Jr. anchors the mighty Hornets. He is the son of Grlenntys Chief Kickingstallionsims, Sr. and Barbara R. Paulson and the brother of Chelsea E. Kickingstallionsims.

(Somewhere on the great barstool in the sky, Harry Caray is muttering “Kickingstallionsims spelled backward . . .” to anybody listening.)

According to the Huntsville Times, via The Sporting News, the Chief’s dad is part Native American (Navajo tribe) and Grlenntys means “strength of the fallen rocks.” The native of Boynton Beach played at Stetson before transferring to Alabama State.

He leads the SWAC in blocked shots . . . in addition to consonants. Sports Illustrated recently gave him its “best name” honor, which he cheerfully accepted.

“I always thought there were some names out there more unique than mine,” Chief said, according to the Dayton Daily News. “But I was glad to get the recognition, because I believed when people saw it on paper it drew them in.”

If took him awhile to get his size 18 1/2 feet in gear, but he has finally become a force in the lane.

“He always had this huge name, and then he had the huge body,” Hornets coach Lewis Jackson, “but now he’s finally turning the corner and becoming this huge, huge player.”

KNOW YOU BASKETBALL TERMINOLOGY

So you can really enjoy the tournament games.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering why it took Pudge Rodriguez so long to find a gig for this season:

• Where, exactly, does Jay Cutler get off making demands of the Broncos? When was the last time he brought a championship to Denver?
• Rather than accommodate his whining, shouldn’t new Broncos coach Josh McDaniel just make him run some stadium steps? Wouldn’t that give him something to whine about?
• Given all the Cardinals outfield depth, when will we see Brian Barton again?
• Are Phillies fans a little tight over Cole Hamels’ elbow soreness?

A CHEAP WAY TO BUILD BALLPARK VILLAGE

The DeWitts should look into this exciting cost-saving innovation:

With their help, perhaps we could get the whole thing built by the All-Star Game.

BILLY PACKER’S HOBBIES

Include hiring psychics to solve high-profile crimes. Seriously, he has done that.

Now we’re sorry CBS canned him as a Final Four analyst. He is even weirder than we thought.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Pat Forde, ESPN.com: “The proof of the turbulence of this 2008-09 college basketball season can be seen in the loss column. Only one team in Division I basketball lost as few as three games. Take a bow, Memphis (26), which enters the tournament 31-3. And thank Conference USA for once again playing ‘62 Mets to your ‘27 Yankees.”

Norman Chad, syndicated columnist, on college basketball: “No other sport changes its nature in the waning minutes more drastically. For 36 minutes of clock time, each team tries to score; for the final four minutes, the team that’s behind just tries to foul. It’s not basketball anymore, it’s a game of tag. The final 1 minute 54 seconds of the Southeastern Conference tournament title game between Mississippi State and Tennessee took 21 minutes. The final 12.4 seconds took 12 minutes.”

Dwight Perry, Seattle Times: “Lab tests confirmed Roger Clemens‘ DNA and performance-enhancing substances on syringes supplied by ex-trainer Brian McNamee, The New York Times reported. What’s next, Clemens’ fingerprints on Mindy McCready’s Clearasil?”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “About the only thing sillier than trying to sell a house nowadays is trying to start a football league. But the folks behind the United Football League sound mighty determined. They’ll begin play this fall, they say, with four teams and have signed former NFLers Denny Green, Jim Fassel, Jim Haslett and Ted Cottrell to coach them. The salary cap will be between $12 million and $20 million, depending on how many liens are placed against Michael Vick.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Pat Burrell bought ads in the Philadelphia papers to thank the fans who basically booed him steadily for nine years. Evidently, Pat has chosen to believe fans simply had a charmingly quirky way of pronouncing his surname BOOOOOOOrrell.”

MEGAPHONE

“Guys who were able to get that big-money contract the last couple of years, kudos for them. Myself and other free agents included, talking about signing for next season or the year after that, it’s going to hit us hard. Definitely we’re not going to get the money that guys think they should get and deserve. But that’s all part of it.”

Pistons star Rasheed Wallace, talking to the Toronto Globe and Mail about his looming free agency.

ELSEWHERE ON STLTODAY

In Monday’s live chat, we predicted Brian Barton would make the Cards’ 25-man roster (oops) for Opening Day. Oops! Should have gone with Brian Barden instead. We noted that the Blues playoff hopes rest squarely on the shoulder of goaltender Chris Mason, who soldiers on solo with Manny Legace in the minors.

Some Mizzou fans were hoping for a No. 2 NCAA seed, but a No. 3 was all the Tigers could have expected, all things considered. Hockey Guy put a wrap on the Red Wings and Wild games over the weekend and offered some other notes and links of interest.