Tipsheet is happy for Mizzou today. It kept coach Mike Anderson in Boone County at a critical time for the basketball program.

The University of Missouri fended off a raid by the University of Georgia, a school that has become increasingly desperate to upgrade its flagging hoops program.

Tipsheet cannot mock Georgia for its campus scene. After all, things have come a ways in 31 years.

Just ask former coach Hugh Durham, who faced serious obstacles during the 1970s.

“Back then the basketball team shared the coliseum with agriculture,” he told the Atlanta Journal Constitution. “We didn’t have central air or anything. All the fans were off. So when I got there I had to open the windows. Well, back then, the barns were right below my window, and I remember calling this kid on the phone, a point guard from New York, and all of a sudden the cows start mooing.

“The kid says, ‘Coach, what’s that noise?’ I said, ‘Oh, it’s just a bunch of horns.’ He must’ve thought, ‘Gee, the car horns sure sound different down there.’”

Yeah, well, we can’t make fun of that. Tipsheet’s first trip to the University of Missouri campus was 34 years ago.

During summer orientation week, we encountered runaway cattle in the dorm lobby. (Absolutely true story.)

Tipsheet went ahead and enrolled anyway.

A FARLEY AWESOME PROMOTION

The Cardinals’ Class A affiliate in the Midwest League, the Quad City Bandits, does a great job with promotions.

We especially like the “Van by the River” promotion. In cause you have forgotten the bit . . .

In a world gone haywire, we must remember Matt Foley’s fighting spirit more than ever before.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering if Chris Duncan will finally get Cardinals fans off his back this season:

• With Joe Mather finally relocating his stroke and third-base prospect David Freese holding up in exhibition play, will the Cards shrug off the Troy Glaus disappearance?
• At this point, is Glaus consulting with Mark Mulder on his rehab?
• Why were the Tigers were so willing to eat the last $14 million on Gary Sheffield’s contract in these tough economic times?
• Now that Jay Cutler has forced the Broncos’ hand, can Denver hope to get a fair return by trading him?
• On the other hand, how many NFL coaches are dying to trade for a spoiled brat quarterback?

LOSING TOUCH WITH REALITY

Veteran big league pitcher Jon Garland expected to get huge long-term dollars when he hit the free-agent marketplace. Then tremors from the global economic collapse reached Our National Pastime.

So Garland settled for $6.25 million on a one-year deal with the Arizona Diamondbacks. (He and the club hold mutual options on next season).

“I’m not going to say my true feelings about some of the stuff that went on, because I definitely feel there were some things going on,” Garland told the Arizona Republic. “But it definitely wasn’t the funnest year to be a free agent, I can tell you that.”

And it’s not the funnest year to be unemployed, as millions of American’s would tell Garland.

WHY WE LIKE HOCKEY

Lots of Canadians play hockey. And Canadians are cool.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Pat Forde, ESPN.com: “And on April Fool’s Day, Mitch Barnhart will introduce John Calipari as the basketball coach at Kentucky. This is the show-stopping conclusion to a two-year running prank Barnhart has been playing on the populace, showing what a wacky jokester the publicly bland athletic director really is. Seriously, see if this isn’t short-sheet-the-bed hilarious: In two years, Kentucky has gone from paying national championship-winning coach Tubby Smith $2.1 million a year to reportedly forking over $31.65 million plus incentives over eight years for a coach with less bling on his finger and more bones in his closet.”

Jeff Schultz, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “John Calipari is not the dirtiest coach or the worst person to ever to walk the face of the earth, or even Massachusetts — even if former Temple coach John Chaney did not once scream at him from across the room: ‘I’ll kill you — you remember that!’ But in the case of Kentucky: Should there be much of a difference between not being the dirtiest coach or the worst person in the world — and being uncomfortable close enough? Kentucky should know better.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Almost forgot, the NIT — for teams that don’t make the 65-team men’s NCAA field — is down to its semifinals Tuesday night. Celebrating fans of Baylor, San Diego State, Penn State or Notre Dame look forward to chanting, ‘We’re No. 66!’”

Gene Wojciechowski, ESPN.com: “Cinderella wouldn’t make it past curfew with this Final Four. These bruisers would take her tiara and use it to pick their teeth. It’s a Final Four with pedigree, personality and muscle mass.”

MEGAPHONE

“I said last year we’d be back. We are going back. It’s ironic that we’re playing the same team. We’re pretty excited right now. It’s good, it’s all good.”

UConn women’s coach Geno Auriemma, after his team steamrolled into the Final Four.