He’s ba-ack!

After rejecting an offer to pitch for the Cardinals, Jeff Weaver failed horribly in Seattle, bounced around the minors in 2008 and finally worked his way back to the Dodgers starting rotation.

It took a while, but Weaver may finally have landed on his feet. He started the year as a long reliever in Albuquerque, worked his way up to the LA bullpen then got called on to replace young James McDonald in the bullpen.

Weaver threw five strong innings as the Dodgers improved its home record to 12-0 Tuesday.

“You never know how the road is going to turn out,” Weaver told the Daily Breeze. “I’m fortunate to be here and be part of this. It’s something special. Hopefully, I can stick around and keep the team rolling to the postseason.”

RUGGED PLAYER, ARTISTIC PARENTS

If the NBA held a contest for “Most Artistic Parents,” former Missouri star Linas Kleiza would nominate his folks for consideration.

While their son made his name as a bulldozing power forward back in Lithuania, Egidijus Kleiza and Kristina Kleiziene came to America to further their art careers.

But Linas, now playing for the Denver Nuggets, inherited none of his father’s flair. “I have no talent when it comes to art,” Kleiza said, according to the New York Times. “I can’t even draw.”

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while Adam Wainwright tries to pull himself together:

• Isn’t it great to see Albert Pujols and Brad Lidge renew old times Tuesday night?
• How did Team Steinbrenner enjoy getting swept by the Red Sox, again?
• Can Alex Rodriguez come back and save this team from dismal failure?
• Who is Jonas Hiller and how is he shutting down the Red Wings?

VIKINGS WOO FAVRE, PACKERS FANS FREAK OUT

Cheeseheads won’t be happy if Brett Favre plays for the arch rival to the north. He is a look into the heart of Packers fans:

TIPSHEET GETS A YELLOW CARD

The transgression at the daughter’s high school lacrosse match. This banishment was technically unjust, since other fans uttered the offending comments.

But other individuals weren’t wearing a bright green shirt visible from a mile away. Hence the bust.

(And it’s not like Tipsheet sits quietly at games, refusing to make the occasional sarcastic remark that aggravates officials. When the chirping starts in the parents’ section, Tipsheet inevitably chimes in. The old Antler instincts remain strong.)

Tipsheet accepted the punishment with grace and left the premises without incident, opting not to go this direction:

That remains the gold standard for flipping out at umpires, referees and other sports officials.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Jeff Schultz, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “If you missed Saturday’s Kentucky Derby, it was won by a horse named Mine That Bird. This is the sports equivalent of the Nationals winning the World Series, if most of the Nationals’ players actually worked at a Burger King the year before, which, come to think of it, they were. Mine That Bird was a 50-1 longshot. Mine That Bird was sold at auction in 2007 for $9,500 (I think that was with a Kroger Plus Card).”

David Thomas, Fort Worth Star-Telegram: “(President) Obama and UConn players played a game of P-I-G, despite pleas from the World Health Organization to change the game’s name to N-1-H-1.”

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “Cubs fans can now be interred (when they die) in a mortuary that features a Wrigley Field-like brick wall, Cubs-colored urns and ‘skyboxes’ for 288 ‘season ticket’ holders. How cool! Spend eternity with a bunch of guys whining about a jinxed goat.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Rehabbing Alex Rodriguez is getting close to rejoining the Yankees just as leaked excerpts from a forthcoming book allege he used steroids as far back as high school at Miami Westminster Christian. Geez, enough already! At this point, you could tell me A-Rod was fed Gerber’s Steroid Formula as an infant and I would be neither surprised nor care all that much.”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com: Even if you filled the inside of the Grand Canyon with a gigantic 20-story shopping mall and a 50-story luxury hotel, it wouldn’t be a worse idea than New Yankee Stadium. I guess I should be happy the Yankees murdered a significant home-field advantage for the rest of my life and yours … but I’m not. Old Yankee Stadium was a worthy adversary. New Yankee Stadium is like one of those terrible ideas for an overpriced Vegas casino that looks doomed even as they’re still building it, and you walk inside the first time and think, ‘Wow, they’ll be knocking this thing down in two years; let’s get the hell out of here.’ Except that in this case, the overpriced casino is going to be around for another 50 years at least. But congratulations and best of luck with it.”

MEGAPHONE

“It was a stupid mistake that I made. But I’ll have what I’ve accomplished in and out of the pool for the rest of my life. I’m satisfied with what I’ve done and happy with what I’ve done.”

Swimmer Michael Phelps, reflecting on his bong-related suspension which just ended.