Former Rams quarterback Trent Green took Peter King’s place this weekover at SI.com, offering an assortment of opinions in the “Monday Morning Quarterback” column.

Green offered up lots of football insight, including a prediction that at least 10 NFL quarterbacks would pass for more than 4,000 yards this year. (Oddly, Marc Bulger was not one of them.)

Also, he offered a harrowing glimpse into the life of a retired athlete:

For those of you that think retired athletes sleep in, work out, play a little golf, maybe get a massage, I’ve got news for you: The Greens would make for a great reality show to destroy all those Hollywood stereotypes about retirement. Because youth baseball practices and games consume a lot of our evenings, we rarely have time for the five of us to sit down for dinner. We found a rare opportunity last week and about five minutes into the meal, Janelle, 3, says she’s not hungry anymore and refuses to sit in her seat. Just then, Derek, 9, reaches for a bowl of fruit and one of his elbows knocks over his glass of milk. TJ, 11, goes into big brother mode and begins the verbal jabs. As my wife, Julie, hurried for some towels, the boys continue jawing and Janelle starts running around the table singing some song, REALLY LOUD. As Julie returns with the towels, she sees me sitting there, mouth open, watching all of this unfold. She gets my attention and I just begin to laugh. I look at her and say, :If people only knew.” Welcome to retirement, Trent!

This explains why some guys never want to retire.

WIMBLEDON SHOCKER: SEX SELLS!

So which women get to play at Centre Court at Wimbledon? Seeding is a factor, of course, but so are their looks.

Marketing is marketing. The Daily Mail picks up the story:

While a succession of easy-on-the-eye unknowns have appeared in Wimbledon’s prime arena, the top women’s seeds have been relegated to lesser courts.

And last night, the All England Club admitted that physical attractiveness is taken into consideration. Spokesman Johnny Perkins said: ‘Good looks are a factor.’

In the men’s tournament, five-times winner Roger Federer and British hope Andy Murray invariably play on Centre. But on Friday, after Federer left the court, the next match was Victoria Azarenka of Belarus against Romania’s Sorana Cirstea.

While both 19-year-olds have top form in the glamour department, Miss Cirstea was seeded 28 while Miss Azarenka, who won, is ranked and seeded eighth. That same day, second seed Serena Williams was relegated to the new No 2 Court for her win over Italian Roberta Vinci.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering if new Cardinal Mark DeRosa will disappear into the black hole that is the Cards’ clean-up spot:

• Did you get the idea that Clayton Mortensen isn’t quite ready to push Todd Wellemeyer for his spot in the rotation?
• Who was a bigger free-agent bust for the Blues, Joe Murphy or Jay McKee?
• Will U.S. soccer fans ever recover from that loss to Brazil?
• Is it time for America to really around the Williams and Mary mascot search?
• Will America ever be safe from “student-athletes” roaming the streets of our college towns, menacing the citizens?
• How can we get through our late nights without Billy Mays on the TV?

GOOD CLEAN MMA FUN

Life isn’t easy in the UFC. It’s a tough way to make a buck, getting kicked in the head and/or choked out by a rival maniac.

But there are occasional perks.

ANOTHER MINOR LEAGUE MANAGER BLOWS UP

Just feel this guy’s blood pressure rise.

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Vijay Singh offered to help post bail for Allen Stanford, the moneyman charged with bilking investors out of $7 billion. I realize Vijay has an endorsement deal with Stanford’s company, but - yikes - could the guy be any more tone deaf? On second thought, I suppose he could. He could have a logo on his bag advertising Bad Newz Kennels.”

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “With Shaq O’Neal going to Cleveland, the NBA will save a lot of money by not hiring refs to work Cavs games. Shaq and LeBron will call the fouls.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Jets coach Rex Ryan revealed he has battled dyslexia. Cannot confirm that, in his honor, henceforth, the famous ‘J-E-T-S!’ chant will become ‘J-T-S-E!’”

Bill Simmons, ESPN.com: “Fresh off exchanging their best player (Vince Carter) for Orlando’s sixth-best player (Courtney Lee), the Nets make amends with their 470 fans by grabbing quirky Louisville swingman Terrence Williams (in my opinion, the last 2009 prospect with a chance to be a top-four guy on a title team). Given that T-Will routinely walked around the Louisville campus wearing SpongeBob pants and a Barbie backpack, it’s as if they drafted a best friend for Brook Lopez. They can go to comic book conventions and dress like ‘Star Wars’ characters together.”

MEGAPHONE

“He’s somewhere between Charles Barkley’s explosiveness and ability to rebound . . , (and) Tim Duncan’s size and ballhandling skills out on the floor.”

Clippers coach Mike Dunleavy, talking up top pick Blake Griffin.