So what is it about playing third base for the Cardinals this season? Why must they all get hurt?

As the old joke goes, this team is going through third basemen the way “Spinal Tap” went through drummers. If you haven’t seen the movie, here is the explanation:

Troy Glaus aggravated an old shoulder injury during an offseason workout and is still struggling to throw a baseball.

David Freese, the heir apparent at that position, suffered an ankle injury during an offseason car accident. He tried to play through it, even making the Cards Opening Day out of spring training, but ultimately he needed surgical repairs.

The next guy in line, Joe Mather, recently underwent his third wrist operation. His 2009 season became a wash.

Joe Thurston has remained healthy, save for his those career-threatening dizzy spells on the bases.

Khalil Greene seemed capable of filling in after his three-homer weekend at Kansas City. But then he suffered a relapse of his social anxiety disorder. Who knows if he’ll play again.

And now Mark DeRosa has suffered an apparent wrist sprain in just his third game as a Cardinal. He will get the injury examined today, so Cards fans are holding their breath.

If I’m top Cards prospect Brett Wallace, I’m in no rush to join the big league club. Playing third base in Memphis is much, much safer.

EXPLORING THE RACIAL DIVIDE IN SPORTS

This will make you think.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while waiting for somebody, anybody to lend Albert Pujols a hand:

• What will become of the Houston Rockets without Yao Ming?
• Say, was that old friend Jason Marquis throwing a two-hitter against the Dodgers? What got into him this season?
• How does Dany Heatley have the temerity to demand a trade from Ottawa, then reject a trade to Edmonton? So what will the Senators do with him now?
• After aiming to acquire Vincent Lecavalier, will the Canadiens really be satisfied with Scott Gomez?
• Is it really this hard to keep track of the outs in an inning?
• Why can’t animals behave at sporting events?
• Must ballplayers share so much personal information with the media?
• Is it really possible to sell men’s tennis?

END OF A TV ERA

FSN’s “Best Damn Sports Show Period” is finally going away. So it may be some time before we see something as entertaining as Michael Strahan getting after Tom Arnold.

(We’re kind of surprised Jerry Springer didn’t sue for copyright infringement after that show.)

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Gene Collier, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: “The Pirates sent much of what remains of their melting fan base back into the full Nate McLouth/Jason Bay boil yesterday, trading still another popular outfielder for some highly suspicious baggage belonging to the worst team in the major leagues. The mid-afternoon acquisition of all tools-no job free swinger Lastings Milledge, banished to the Washington Nationals’ farm lands after just seven games this season by a club that will be lucky to get to the All-Star break with 25 wins, triggered a fresh round of exasperated hostility from the people who had come to appreciate Pirates left fielder Nyjer Morgan, the smiling face and earnest heart of the still somehow hopeful young Pirates.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “According to the National Center for Catastrophic Sports Injury Research at the University of North Carolina, the most dangerous college and high school sport is cheerleading. Actually, it makes a lot of sense when you stop and think about it. I mean, of all athletes, cheerleaders are by far the most likely to get attacked by mascots. I’m all for safety, I truly am. I just hope folks don’t overreact. I mean, nobody wants to go back to the old days - when the worst thing that could happen to a cheerleader was getting her lips stuck in a megaphone.”

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “Too bad about Hollywood pulling the plug on ‘Moneyball.’ I was so looking forward to two hours of Brad Pitt hunched over a laptop.”

Rick Morrissey, Chicago Tribune: “If you think Milton Bradley is having a rough year so far, how about Jim Hendry? The Cubs’ general manager is responsible for signing the .238-hitting, currently benched Bradley to a three-year, $30 million contract before the season. He is responsible for signing ‘leadoff’ hitter Alfonso Soriano, who is in the third year of an eight-year, $136 million contract. He’s responsible for giving Kosuke Fukudome a four-year, $48 million deal in December 2007. Soriano and Fukudome have responded with batting averages of .232 and .260, respectively, this season. Meanwhile, the manager Hendry hired is under fire for not having enough fire, and his ace pitcher is under fire for having a raging fire that threatens to engulf large portions of the North Side.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Immediately after the reports of Michael Jackson’s death, Bengal Chad OchoCinco, on Twitter, called it ‘just as sad as 9/11.’ I’m not saying we abolish Twitter. I’m saying we ban Chad Ocho Cinco.”

MEGAPHONE

“Do I feel invincible? I’d like to say yes, but I really do work at it.”

Venus Williams, chatting with reporters after reaching the Wimbledon Finals.