LeBron Gains Massive Bodyguard
Shaquille O’Neal is ready to get to work in Cleveland. His mission is clear.
“My motto is very simple,” O’Neal told reporters. “Win a Ring for the King.”
As in King LeBron James, who is still seeking his first NBA title.
“It’s LeBron’s team,” Shaq said. “He’s the captain. This is the time in my career where I can fit in. I’m now in the security business. My job is to protect the King, and that’s what I’m here to do.”
At 37, he insists he isn’t washed up.
“I have a lot left,” O’Neal said. “There’s only four or five good centers in the league and I’m in that number. … I’ve been in it [the NBA] for 17 years but I’ve missed three years because of injury. If you do the math, I’ve still got three years left. You got that?”
All he needs to do now is settle on his Cavaliers nickname.
“A friend tweeted me with ‘The Big Freeze,’” Shaq said. “I don’t know about that one. I’ve got to go home, play around with the kids and figure something out. I’ll have one.”
RECOGNIZING REAL GENIUS
Here is a good hour of time-killing fun.
The writers of these commercials are geniuses.
PIRATES MAKE ANOTHER TRADE
And fans didn’t like it. What else is new? This team is doomed to eternal rebuilding. The Baseball Gods frown on the Iron City.
MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE
Questions to ponder while wondering if Todd Wellemeyer has turned himself around.
- Will those two RBI singles Thursday night help Ryan Ludwick relax in the clean-up spot?
- How has St. Louis been so fortunate to employ many of the greatest closers of all time?
- Wouldn’t this keepsake be worth every penny to a big Yankees fan?
- Doesn’t anybody really feel sorry for Cubs fans?
ATTACK OF THE KILLER BEES
Here is something you don’t see every day: A bee delay in baseball.
A pesky swarm of bees attacked during the ninth inning of Houston’s 7-2 victory at San Diego, prompting a 52-minute delay.
“It’s how this year’s going. Bizarre things. You think you’ve seen it all in baseball and you’re going to see something new,” said Astro infielder Geoff Blum said, according to the Associated Press.
QUIPS ‘R US
Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:
Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Not long after the Miami Dolphins struck a deal with Jimmy Buffett to rename their stadium after his Land Shark Lager beer, Gloria Estefan became one of the club’s minority owners. Which raises the question: Are the Dolphins trying to win the Super Bowl or crack the Billboard Top 40?”
Tim Keown, ESPN.com, on the new Cowboys Stadium: “It’s utterly insane. It’s impossible to describe. The obvious comparison is to a spaceship, but that’s too facile. Maybe it resembles the imaginary place where spaceships are built, but it really doesn’t look like anything I’ve ever seen — and that includes University of Phoenix Stadium in Glendale, Ariz., which is hideously overdone, but compared to this thing looks like an old washing machine sitting in the front yard of a single-wide trailer.”
Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Cubs catcher Geovany Soto tested positive for marijuana, a banned AED: appetite-enhancing drug.”
MEGAPHONE
“My sons love LeBron more than they love me. I’m just a little jealous about it.”
O’Neal again.
Go STEAMS Go!!