When Bill Wirtz ran the Blackhawks, there was no chance his team would steal a top scorer from the Red Wings with a 12-year, $62.8 million offer. Wirtz preferred to stand pat, count his nickels and allow his team to languish.

But Dollar Bill has passed on to the Big Vault in the sky and his kid Rocky continues wheeling and dealing in his absence. In the franchise’s latest move, the Blackhawks nabbed Marian Hossa -  the best sniper available in this free-agent class.

ChicagoTribune.com blogger Steve Rosenbloom summed it up: “The Blackhawks’ sneak attack on free agency essentially resulted in trading Martin Havlat for Marian Hossa, making them bigger, more dangerous and drawing them closer to the dreaded Detroit Red Wings by stealing their top goal scorer. A nice day’s work for Hawk general manager Dale Tallon.”

The Blackhawks also signed checking center John Madden from the Devils and budding scorer Tomas Kopecky from the Red Wings. They lost goaltender Nikolai Khabibulin to Edmonton, so now ’08 free-agent addition Cristobal Huet will have to earn his money.

Hossa should be a great fit on an up-and-coming team. But after turning down chances to stay with the Penguins and then the Red Wings the previous two summers, NHL experts wondered about his career management.

We know Hossa can score, but can he tape a promotional commercial in one take?

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while waiting for the Blues to work out a contract with restricted free agent defenseman Roman Polak:

• After signing oft-injured free agent Marian Gaborik, did the Rangers double the size of their medical staff?
• Does Dany Heatley want out of Ottawa or not? How does a guy demand a trade, then use his no-trade protection to block it?
• Which third baseman will make it to St. Louis first: Rehabbing Troy Glaus, rehabbing David Freese or top hitting prospect Brett Wallace?
• Why can’t Jack Clark let go out his hatred of the Mets?
• What, exactly, is Pirates management thinking these days?
• Why did Sony pull the plug on the big “Moneyball” project? Did somebody finally figure out that only a handful of stat nerds to watch Billy Beane’s life story unfold on the big screen?
• Is anything in life more annoying than a Cowboys fan?
• Is being a TV reporter a lot harder than it looks?
• Upon further review, did the Brewers overspend to steal Jeff Suppan from the Cardinals?

SHOULD WE CARE ABOUT SOCCER?

The Cobert Report breaks it down for us. Check it out.

THE TROUBLE WITH LIMELIGHT

Anybody with a clue picked the big-budget Cubs to win the National League Central this year. That has made the team’s season-long struggle all the more glaring.

“People scrutinize and analyze us so much because we were picked to win the division when the season started,” Cubs manager Lou Piniella told reporters. “If we hadn’t been picked, I don’t think the scrutiny would be nearly as much. We’re all doing the best we can, and that’s all we can do.”

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Did you see this story in the small print recently? Eight days after the Red Sox’s Dustin Pedroia hit an RBI double against the Yankees’ Chien-Ming Wang – eight days! — Major League Baseball changed it to an error. You know what this means, don’t you? It means there’s still a chance the grounder that went through Bill Buckner’s legs in the ‘86 World Series will be ruled a hit.”

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “Michael Jordan’s son Jeff quits the Illinois basketball team, issuing a prepared statement. Prepared statement? Heir Jordan averaged 1.0 points. Here’s your prepared statement: ‘I suck, I’m outta here.’”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Olympic champion Michael Phelps has cultivated a mustache. Facial hair isn’t very aerodynamic. Analysts says that’s why a member of ZZ Top has never won a swimming gold.”

Greg Couch, FanHouse, on Wimbledon: “This is the Andy Roddick we should have been watching all these years. It’s the guy we saw early in his career, when he was going to be the next great American star, smoothly making the transition from Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi. Somewhere in there, Roddick’s brain stopped developing. Or maybe the sport just kept developing while he was stuck in the power era, when finesse and style and smarts, Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal, moved in. He was a Neanderthal, while modern man arrived.”

MEGAPHONE

“Just like all major championships, you have to have all the pieces going. You have to hit the ball well, chip well, putt well, think well. And that’s the whole idea of majors. Every single facet of your game is tested. And it just didn’t work out. Looking forward to the next two.”

Tiger Woods, on his U.S. Open Failure.