Tipsheet has a new hero: Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo. He broke down the performance-enhancing drug issue with great candor in recent interviews, most notably with USA Today.

Like most ballplayers, he ingests training supplements to enhance his workouts and (theoretically) improve his performance. And, no, he doesn’t sweat the details.

Here are some highlights:

• On his regular intake: “I take 10 to 12 different things a day, and on the days I pitch, there’s four more things. There’s a caffeine drink I take from a company that Curt Schilling introduced me to in ‘05. I take some Korean ginseng and a few other proteins out there that are not certified. But I haven’t failed any tests, so I figured I’m good.”
• On his earlier use of Andro: “I took androstenedione the same way I took my multivitamins. I didn’t really know if this was a genius move by Mark McGwire to cover up the real (stuff) he was taking, but it made me feel unbelievable. I felt like a monster.”
• On his earlier use of amphetamines: “That stuff’s like bubblegum compared to steroids. You’re playing (night games) in L.A., you fly across the country, and you’re pitching a day game at Wrigley. You telling me you don’t want something to wake you up? You have half this country, maybe more, that can’t function without a cup of coffee.”
• On the widespread abuse of Adderall in baseball: “You don’t want me to get Albert Pujols out? Give me a break. If you give me (the amphetamine) Adderall, and I strike out Pujols in the seventh inning with the bases loaded, there’s a pretty good chance I’m going to want to take that Adderall the next time.”

We’ve always argued that baseball players cannot be divided into two groups, the pure and the impure. Rather, there is a continuum.

At some point on that continuum, there is a line separating what is currently allowed and not allowed in baseball. The line shifts. Players shift too, based on what they are using at any particular point.

Some players push up to the line. Some cross it unwittingly. Some cross it deliberately. Parsing the competitors from the cheaters is nearly impossible.

Tipsheet thanks Arroyo for shedding light on how the game is really played.

MICHAEL VICK + PHILLY FANS = FUN TIMES

Eagles coach Andy Reid, for one, is glad to have him.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering what Shaquille O’Neal learned by watching Pujols crush some baseballs:

• It’s great that Shaq wanted to learn other sports during his off-season, but did it ever occur to him to work on that free-throw shooting instead?
• Wouldn’t Pedro Martinez have looked good as the fifth Cardinals starter?
• And wouldn’t John Smoltz add something special to the Cards bullpen?
• Are they any guys out there who can read this update without wincing?
• Can the massive Hazeltine course contain Tiger Woods this weekend?
• Is anybody else getting jacked up about the coming UFL season?

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Jay Mariotti, FanHouse: “Midwestern values? Sorry, I’ve never detected more common sense here than anywhere else, particularly during baseball season in the heartland capital. Chicago is where a father/son tag team, one with a knife falling from his pocket, tackled an enemy first-base coach who never has emotionally recovered. Chicago is where a bond trader attacked Cubs relief pitcher Randy Myers for allowing a home run. Chicago is where a fan stole the cap of Dodgers catcher Chad Kreuter, prompting his teammates to rush into the stands. Chicago is where a riot broke out and fires erupted on Disco Demolition Night. Chicago is where psycho fans come to pillage and plunder, possibly a byproduct of having won only one World Series over the last 191 collective seasons — soon to be 193 — on both sides of town. Philadelphia boos Santa Claus? Cleveland throws batteries at helmeted, padded football players? New York, Boston, Detroit? Those places are mellow compared to Chi, the city that really should taser morons after Oakland introduced the idea last week, the city where so-called regional sensibilities don’t always apply at the two ballparks.”

(If you haven’t seen the Oakland incident, here it is.)

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “ ‘I have always tried to do things the right way,’ said Artificially Big Papi, David Ortiz. Looking at his numbers, you have to agree that Ortiz did performance-enhancing drugs the right way. Except for the getting-caught part.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “The Cowboys . . . have so much interest in their new stadium that they’re selling standing-room-only tickets, thousands of them, at $29 a pop. Fans will be able to watch games from one of the decks in the end zones - or on the giant TV screens suspended above the field. ‘I want you to picture the experience of… the infield at the Kentucky Derby,’ owner Jerry Jones told the (Fort Worth) Star-Telegram. And let’s face it, the Cowboys certainly have the horses.”

MEGAPHONE

“We’ve been inconsistent. That’s obvious. We’re just not playing good . . . There is only so much talking you can do. It’s the middle of August.”

Cubs first baseman Derrek Lee.