The Pirates have done it. This once-proud franchise managed to clinch its 17th consecutive losing season.

This is the same ballclub that once produced the famed “We Are Family” team. This is the team that once featured Jim Leyland managing and a young Barry Bonds hitting mostly natural home runs.

More recently, the franchise has fed its fans a steady diet of losing baseball. The team is in the midst of its umpteenth rebuilding program.

The consistent failure of that franchise provides some context for the consistent Cardinal success during the Tony La Russa Era.

From 1990-92, the Pirates won three straight division titles. During that same time frame, the Cards finished sixth, second and third.

La Russa led the Cards’ turnaround, starting in 1996, while the Pirates faded into oblivion – never to contend again. The 17 consecutive losing seasons is a record for major sports franchises in North America.

Some 317 players have worn the Pirates uniform during that futile period. From time to time the Pirates appeared to be on the right track, but budget cuts and talent dumps became a way of life for this franchise.

The current group seems to have some potential, but Pittsburgh’s long-suffering fans have heard that before.

“Unfortunately, we’re not happy with where we are in terms of wins and losses, and we’ve got a lot of work to do,” Pirates manager John Russell said. “But we believe in what we’re doing. We’ve developed some very good young players, and we’re looking forward to continuing to build. Unfortunately, we can’t do anything about the 17 years.”

The only good news for the Pirates in 17 years: The Bonds Steroid Scandal didn’t stick to them, as it did the Giants.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while the Illini try to regroup from Saturday afternoon’s beating:

• Can Oklahoma survive the rest of its non-conference schedule without Sam Bradford?
• Can anybody blame Patriots defensive lineman Richard Seymour for not racing to Oakland to join the Raiders? How would you like to leave a dynastic team to become part of that mess?
• Is it possible that coaches can actually over-prepare for the season?
• Say, is that really Troy Glaus taking a regular shift for the Cards at third base?
• Can you just feel the electricity from the U.S. Open?
• How will history remember the Roy Schuening Era with the Rams?

ANOTHER CULTURE CLASH GOES BAD

Should NFL players mix it up with TV reality show stars? Tipsheet suggests not.

More evidence of this surfaced when Chargers linebacker Shawne Merriman got busted for allegedly assaulting the immortal Tila Tequila at his home early Sunday. She accused him of going all Lawrence Phillips on her.

His version of the events is quite different, as you would expect. Merriman said he was just trying to keep her from driving drunk.

“At the time, I was concerned about her welfare given the intoxicated state she appeared to be in and I encouraged her to stay until safe transportation could be provided,” Merriman said in the statement. “We would all do our best to help a friend if we considered their actions to be detrimental to their personal safety.”

This prompted Chargers coach Norv Turner to address the team about citizenship issues.

“He wanted us to continue to think about places we’ll be, what time we’re there and who we’re around,” running back LaDainian Tomlinson said. “Those are the things we can control. That was kind of his point.”

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Maria Sharapova showed up at the U.S. Open unveiling her new shoe and handbag line, a newly designed black-and-silver dress, and drop earrings by Tiffany. Unfortunately, she forgot her rackets.”

Scott Ostler, San Francisco Chronicle: “IHOP is now an official NFL sponsor, and this week is your last chance to order the Exhibition Game Breakfast: For the price of a steak dinner, you get bologna, burned toast, rotten eggs and assorted leftovers.”

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Talk about a tough preseason for NFL offensive coordinators. No fewer than three of them were fired last week - Chan Gailey by the Chiefs, Jeff Jagodzinski by the Bucs and Turk Schonert by the Bills. That’s right, Turk got a visit from the Turk. Who saw that coming?”

Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel: “On Monday morning, I went to Florida State’s athletic web site just to see how easy it would be to get a ticket for Monday night’s FSU-Miami game. My answer came in a matter of seconds. For a mere $975, I could have purchased 15 tickets together in Section 322, Row 75, Seats 3-17. There was a time when you might have hard time getting one ticket to this game for $975. There was a time when a ticket to FSU-UM was as cherished as a baby’s smile. These days, you can’t just a ticket to the game; you can get a block of them. Moral of the story: Mediocrity doesn’t sell so well.

MEGAPHONE

“Jets fans — they’re great. They go out and demonstrate what true fans are supposed to be. They boo, and that’s part of the game, but at the same time, I felt some love. I understand it’s a part of what I have to deal with. It’s part of what any quarterback around the league has to deal with.”

Eagles quarterback Michael Vick, on his first game back in greater New York.