Peace reigns in the Cardinals front office. Tony La Russa is back, Dave Duncan is back and La Russa favorite Mark McGwire is tagging in for hitting coach Hal McRae.

The Skipper has his people in place. He, owner Bill DeWitt and general manager John Mozeliak seem to be on the same page about the team’s 2010 priorities.

Things are somewhat less peaceful in Los Angeles, where Dodgers chairman Frank McCourt is headed toward divorce with former Dodgers vice-chairman and CEO Jamie McCourt.

Frank recently fired Jamie from that post. In her divorce papers, she is demanding that job back – and her lawyers also listed the ballclub as part of their community property.

Here are some other demands, courtesy of TMZ:

• travel by private jet
• 5 star hotel accommodations
• travel expenses - Unlimited
• business dinners 5 nights per week
• business lunches 5 days per week
• parking spots at Dodger Stadium
• flowers in the office
• making Dodger Legends available for events without charge
• provision of Dodger autographed items as requested for use in business and charitable activities
• hair and makeup for Dodger events
• access to team doctors for McCourt family members
• access to the owner’s suite for Dodger home games and non-baseball events at the stadium
• Tickets to All-Star games and playoff games — even if the Dodgers aren’t playing
• a pass to all National League games

Then there is the mater of her monthly living expends, estimated at $488,928 per month. To fund this spectacularly expensive divorce, the McCourts might be forced to sell the Dodgers. Word is, the couple is heavily leveraged.

And that could throw the whole operation into limbo. How will that franchise be able to maintain its free-spending approach to free agency?

Meanwhile, TMZ will offer constant updates of all the tawdry details, for those us us who revel in the suffering of others.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering if the Rams could sign banished Oklahoma State receiver Dez Bryant as a free agent?

• If the NCAA won’t let the kid play college football anymore, why can’t he go out and make a living?
• Since the Clippers are the Clippers, is anybody surprised that promising rookie Blake Griffin started his NBA career by sitting on the injured list with a broken knee cap?
• How far will Phillies fans go to get their hands on precious World Series tickets? Do we really want to know?
• Is David Stern running the NBA, or is Nike actually running the league?

WHY COACHES GET ULCERS

Stories like this hit the wire:

BOSTON — Boston Celtics forward Glen “Big Baby” Davis had surgery on Tuesday to repair his broken right thumb after fighting with a childhood friend while riding in an SUV less than two days before the season opener.

Knuckleheads!

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Dan Daly, Washington Times: “Oakland’s Tom Cable will avoid charges after being accused of assaulting a defensive staffer and breaking his jaw. The district attorney apparently felt that, as coach of the Raiders, Cable is being punished enough.”

Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel: “Remember when President Obama threw out the first pitch at the all-star game? Well, guess what? He’s just been awarded the Cy Young.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Who would you least rather be today: The idiot father who concocted that whole ‘Balloon Boy’ hoax? Or ESPN’s Steve Phillips? C’mon, Steve! You leave as Mets GM in disgrace over an affair, and now you humiliate your wife and kids over another affair? I say ESPN should let him back on the air only under his revised new public name: Steve Philanderer.”

Jeff Schultz, Atlanta Journal-Constitution: “Remember the UFL? If you have a life, probably not. The fledgling football minor league milked a potential Michael Vick signing for as long as it could. But ‘commissioner’ Michael Huyghue might as well have announced, ‘I just saw a vision of Mary in my bowl of ziti and she’s going to sing the National Anthem at the opener!’ because that was as close to reality as Vick signing. Here’s your UFL update: Nobody cares. Seriously, four teams have played five total games but the league might as well be based in a black hole. They announced a crowd of 6,341 in San Francisco the other night. But the turnstile count looked closer to 3,000. Probably 27 of the 3,000 actually paid. Half price. And maybe got a free hot dog. And a car.”

Jay Mariotti, FanHouse:: “He always has a rapper’s catchphrase for everything and everyone, primarily himself. And while Shaquille O’Neal really should adopt The Big Hypothermia — an ode to a bone-chilled, unemployment-scarred town that couldn’t be farther from Hollywood if it were on Uranus — it’s typical that he would produce a more creative, applicable nickname. ‘I’m the Big Witness Protection Program,’ he said, playing off the Nike ad extravaganza for LeBron James. ‘I’ve come here to protect the King.’”

The Cleveland media is glad to have him. Shaq is seldome dull.

MEGAPHONE

“I never wear them except for the night that I get them. It’s on to the next one.”

Kobe Bryant, after collecting another NBA Championship ring.

Elsewhere on STLToday

Despite all their losing, the Rams haven’t lost their minds. Yet.

Hockey Guy wishes the NHL would let the enforcers handle breaches of etiquette right there on the ice, before the transgressor can get to the team bus.