Before I describe CBS’ “stars party,” let me emphasize that the point of these events is to give visiting TV critics a chance to mingle with and interview actors, producers and network executives; people you either haven’t seen during the formal press conferences during the day or haven’t had a chance to talk to. The point isn’t really to have fun, although some of the parties can be fun.

 ABC had its party, Thursday night, in the hotel. CBS partnered with the CW and Showtime and went all out, busing us to the club Boulevard3 in Hollywood. We should have known we were in trouble when the bus was caught in party traffic a block away and finally dropped us in the middle of a crowd of autograph seekers and people trying to snap pictures. They were behind a barrier and had no interest in us, but we still had to fight our way through a jumble of bodies that just got denser as we got closer. “What are we doing here?” I asked my friend Sue, and a woman to my left said, “That’s what I want to know.” It was Camryn Manheim of ”Ghost Whisperer,” who to her credit didn’t turn around and flee but followed us in.

People were getting inside and just stopping in a courtyard. A bus boy was trying to sweep up broken glass. I pushed through on the side and came upon my No. 1 target for the evening: the dogs (and owners) from “Greatest American Dog.” I would have been terrified to have my dog in that crazy crowd, but these owners seemed very casual about it. Beacon, the little miniature schnauzer, was very sweet and put her paws up on my arm to get acquainted. She had on a little sweater with her name Bedazzled on it. I also enjoyed Ezzie, the brown and white Boston terrier, and Preston, the white Pomeranian with a red Mohawk. The big bulldog owned the place. If the boxer or Jack Russell “terrorist” were there, I didn’t see them. And now I confess that although I’m recording the show at home, I’ve never actually seen an episode.

Fun with dogs over, I again tried to get into the club and this time succeeded. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, in a strapless dress, was just outside the door; her publicist was rotating interviewers through on a 90-second time limit. Uh … no. Somebody handed me a glass of champagne (good) and a cone of french fries with rosemary mayonnaise (very good), but it was hard to walk without spilling on myself. After the crowd outside, the club was almost empty. That gave me a chance to talk to Nina Tassler, president of CBS Entertainment, who told me the “Moonlight” supporters had sent her red wine, and that she actually tried a bottle, but it was terrible. Although she had to cancel “Moonlight,” she said, she wouldn’t rule out another project for its star, Alex O’Loughlin.

The club was filling up, but a lot of the people seemed just to be guests, not stars or anybody to interview. Sue and I circled the room like 10 times and even went upstairs to look down and try to spot David Duchovny, whom she wanted to talk to, but he seemed to have left. We did see Les Moonves and his wife, Julie Chen; Johnny Galecki from “Big Bang Theory”; and some CW people, although I didn’t see any of the “Gossip Girl” stars. (I know; I was supposed to get “GG” scoop — sorry!) 

My friend Robert needed some party interviews, so we went outside again, where it was more crowded than ever. We scored with Neil Patrick Harris (always great, nice, fun, good with a quote) and Dennis Haysbert. Michael C. Hall was talking, but I honestly couldn’t understand a word he said. I went over to say hi to Mike Naidus, who works with Craig Ferguson, and stumbled over a gelato stand. (Yes!) Then I finally saw Phil Keoghan of “The Amazing Race” and told him about the dream I had about him (”Are you dreaming about me again?” he said), in which he was upset that he didn’t get an Emmy nomination and I had to console him. He said I could come along and console him, but at this point, he was just going in and I was more than ready to go home, so when some people were heading for the bus I tagged along with them and got back to the hotel about 3 hours after I left.

And that was that. It actually sounds, on the page, a little more glamorous than it actually was.

Tomorrow: The CW, introducing “90210″ among other shows. Saturday is just another day out here, but tomorrow night is the TCA Awards, our version of the Emmys, when we all get dressed up and the winners actually come to pick up their awards. The Smothers Brothers are hosts this year, which should be fun. I’ll post the winners list afterwards.