Shame on you, Todd from Fox 8 News.

Hey, guys: Does your girlfriend always make you watch movies about quilts and tampons? Then you need to schedule a guys’ night out, ASAP.

Take some advice from Max and Gabe, Details magazine’s style experts.

Most of Michael Jackson’s official music videos on YouTube can’t be embedded here, but this video of a performance in 1992 seems fitting:

And here’s an interesting note, brought to my attention by my colleague Erica Smith: Michael Jackson holds the patent for the “Smooth Criminal” lean — or the “method and means for creating anti-gravity illusion.”

Are you sweaty? Are you tired? Does your back hurt? How ’bout your knees?

Perhaps it’s because you’re exercising all wrong.

But never fear: This kind woman has some simple exercises (we think they’re supposed to be exercises, anyway) that you can do while you’re waiting for the microwave. Or while you’re standing in line at the supermarket. Or while you wait for your kids to eat their cereal. Or while you listen to this woman list things.

Now here’s a blast-from-the-past TV theme song you’ll have stuck in your head all day.

When I was a kid, I always wondered how Scrooge McDuck managed to dive into his money pit and swim around in the opening titles of “Duck Tales.”

Well, I guess that was just Disney’s way of shielding youngsters from the harsh reality that you cannot do either of those things.

Watch as these talented young ladies sing and dance to a song about potato salad.

OK — if you can’t bear to endure that, just skip ahead to the 0:50 mark and watch what happens.

Clown alert.

Some explanation, from the creator’s YouTube channel:

This is a music video for Jonathan Coulton’s song “Mr. Fancy Pants,” telling the tragic tale of a popular figure corrupted by fame and fancy pants.

Jonathan Coulton is a singer/songwriter who releases his songs via the Creative Commons license, which enables projects such as this video. Visit Jonathan’s Web site for lots more clever, creative songs like this one.

Mike Spiff Booth is a guy who thought this great song really deserved a video.

The song at the end is “My Beige Bear,” another great song by Jonathan Coulton.

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