Petting cats is so tired. Why not learn to properly massage them instead?

For best results, we encourage you to interact with your child while viewing this video.

But not while also operating heavy machinery. Or while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Hey, gals. Watch the drama that ensues when Joyce and Pat eat doughnuts (which they must have purchased at the General Store), even though they know Bev disapproves.

This is some scary stuff.

This appears to be an instructional video for aspiring actors. Or not.

This video features “hot” dance music. Allegedly.

Times are tough, and families are strapped for cash. Why not cash in on those adorable younguns?

This clip teaches parents how they can get their kids into commercials.

Eating, breathing and moving are equally important, says fitness guru Susan Powter in this terrible footage from what appears to be the 1980s.

Note to self: Take extra care to lock the front door tonight. Don’t want Susan to come steal all my food.

Turns out, you don’t even need fancy equipment to build up your calf muscles to the point that they’re bulgy and gross. All you need is a workout buddy.