They don’t make sitcom title sequences like they used to. You know — with cheesy shots of wholesome families turning and smiling for the camera as the actors’ names appear (almost always in horrible type with a giant drop shadow).

Nowadays, you’re lucky to find one with a memorable theme song or an opening sequence longer than 10 seconds. Luckily, College Humor reminds us of the good ol’ days of sitcom theme songs.

Back in the day, I was easily fooled into believing Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari were ladies. But now that I am older and wiser, I realize those two were the worst drag queens ever. And did those wigs and frumpy frocks really render them unrecognizable to their friends? I’m not buying it.

It’s all very “Hannah Montana,” if you ask me.

I had all but forgotten about this awful, awful show from my childhood. Until one fateful day last week when something triggered a memory, and it all came crashing back to me.

Here, now, are the closing titles from Nickelodeon’s “Sharon, Lois & Bram’s Elephant Show,” circa 1986.

NBC hasn’t put this segment from Saturday’s “SNL” online, so we recommend you watch it before they inevitably have it pulled from YouTube.

My iPhone ringtone generated a lot of chatter today among my Go! co-workers. It’s the one called “xylophone,” and everyone agreed it was definitely a TV theme song, though none of us is sure where we’ve heard it.

It has a flavor of the “Six Feet Under” theme …

It also has flavors of the “Desperate Housewives” incidental music and bumpers …

But the general consensus — here and online, where it’s actually the topic of much discussion — is that it’s part of the theme from “American Beauty” …

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