“Saturday Night Live” kicked off its 35th season with Megan Fox as host — and the F-word.

From Tom Shales of The Washington Post:

Jenny Slate, one of two actors hired over the summer to join the repertory cast, was making her “SNL” debut in the sketch, called “Biker Chick Chat,” which aired in the last 20 minutes of the season premiere. Slate and Kristen Wiig played surly motorcycle babes who used the substitute words “frickin’ ” or “friggin’ ” in every sentence they spoke.

But when, at about 12:43 a.m., Slate was supposed to say to Wiig, “You stood up for yourself, and�

I don’t watch a lot of scripted television, but I’m more excited about “Glee” than I have been about anything on TV in a long time. (OK — except for that big “Jon & Kate” we’re-making-a-big-announcement episode.)

I’m not alone. According to the Los Angeles Times, “Glee” delivered delivered Fox’s highest rating for a fall scripted premiere in two years.

If you missed Wednesday night’s season premiere, settle in and watch it here.

And if you missed the pilot, here’s the director’s cut.

They don’t make sitcom title sequences like they used to. You know — with cheesy shots of wholesome families turning and smiling for the camera as the actors’ names appear (almost always in horrible type with a giant drop shadow).

Nowadays, you’re lucky to find one with a memorable theme song or an opening sequence longer than 10 seconds. Luckily, College Humor reminds us of the good ol’ days of sitcom theme songs.

Actually, the on-air marriage proposal is all we’ll be covering today.

A colleague just sent me a link to this video from KARK-TV, featuring a reporter he went to college with.

And, at 2:13, it’s quite possibly the longest local-news segment ever.

Back in the day, I was easily fooled into believing Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari were ladies. But now that I am older and wiser, I realize those two were the worst drag queens ever. And did those wigs and frumpy frocks really render them unrecognizable to their friends? I’m not buying it.

It’s all very “Hannah Montana,” if you ask me.

Video of “Britain’s Got Talent” contestant Susan Boyle has taken the Interwebs by storm over the past week. If you missed her sensational TV performance, you can catch it here.

From an article today by the London Telegraph:

Boyle is 47, unemployed, perpetually single and lives alone with her cat, Pebbles, in Bathgate, West Lothian — a town apparently dubbed “a dump” by “Britain’s Got Talent” judge Piers Morgan. Boyle’s sunny (if gauche) demeanour masks a sad life: The youngest of nine, she was deprived of oxygen at birth, which led to learning difficulties and, as a result, a childhood marred by�

I don’t get the fancy HBO at home, so I never got to see Lisa Kudrow’s short-lived comedy series “The Comeback.” And then it went and got canceled after just one season.

But a couple of weeks ago, I made an amazing discovery at T.J. Maxx: the first (only) season of “The Comeback” on DVD for $4! Super exciting.

Simon Cowell is a busy guy. When he’s not crushing spirits (I keed, I keed) on “American Idol,” he’s judging/producing “Britain’s Got Talent” across the pond.

Watch his reaction to 47-year-old Susan Boyle, a contestant who says her dream is to be a singer as good as Elaine Paige.

I guarantee this clip will put a smile on your face. Boyle sings “I Dreamed a Dream” from “Les Miserables.”

Watch it here – embedding has been disabled.