Paul: Are you a mean son of a bit?h like we think you are? Will you get an EL DIABLO tatoo?

Joe Strauss: Lady Diablo would answer the first question "yes." Not into "tats" so the second answer would be "no." However, ChatHeads everywhere are encouraged to show their adoration with body paint or, better yet, with a monetary gift addressed to JSL!!! c/o the Post-Dispatch Sports Department.

Aloha Cards Fan: Good evening Mr. Hang Ten,
The surf is breaking only 30 yards from where I'm typing a question to the one and only Tsunami-ride-the-wave-hang ten, dog; the incomparable Mr. JSL. Ladies and Gentlemen, show some respect to the dude that tells us what we must hear.
Tell me, Joseph, please, what's the REAL story about the BDW hiring of MO? Things like, was he the boss' first choice?
If not, why'd the guy in Cleveland turn down the job? Give us some inside of how our beloved Cardinals organization is run, please!!!
Give us some juice, baby!!!
Thank you!

Joe Strauss: The Cardinals negotiated with Indians assistant Chris Antonetti. The club denies it ever tendered Antonetti a formal offer; however, they engaged him in three days of talks before Antonetti pulled out of consideration. By then three other candidates had withdrawn, though I'm unsure if they would have been more viable than Mozeliak. Was Mo' ownership's first choice. Not exactly. BDJ was smitted by the Cleveland Indians' philosophical model. However, Antonetti received a significant raise and assurances he would succeed Mark Shapiro when Shapiro eventually ascends the organiztional ladder.
P.S.: If you're going to write in "hip," know your abbreviations...

Chairman Bill DeWitt Jr. = BDJ
Team President Bill DeWitt III = BD3
Manager Tony La Russa = TLR
Pitching Coach Dave Duncan = Big Dunc'
Outfielder Chris Duncan = Little Dunc'

You have to buy the book for the rest of the shorthand.

Buk: Yo Joe,
What are the three most important off season acquistions in your opinion, and could you throw some names around? Here's my list:

1. A middle infielder who can actually hit (Furcal)
2. A reliable starter (Derek Lowe)
3. Lefty reliever (Fuentes)

Cardinal fan in Thailand,
Buk

Joe Strauss: Nice list but I doubt the club is prepared to throw around $30 million annually to land all three.

Slim: For the third straight year, the Cards have faded in September. Why is this? Does it have anything to do with La Russa's managing style?

Joe Strauss: Others are asking your question. I believe the common denominator has been deteriorating health at the end of the last three seasons. Some critics, including some former players, believed TLR's intensity could wear on a team, especially one that has heard his motivational mantras for several years. Funny, though, few questioned TLR when the team created a tradition of strong finishes from 2000-05. Again, injuries can't be overlooked.

joeswimmer: With the Redbirds season coming to a screeching,grinding halt it's time to discuss more pleasant topics; like college football. I know the Chatmeister is a closet expert in this area. I have an idea for a new college football poll. In my poll SEC teams get the first five places, then the rest of the dregs can line up for the lessor places, if worthy.

Your thoughts?

Joe Strauss: I'd like to agree. But I can't unless USC (Southern Cal, not South Carolina) moves to the SEC. Otherwise, I've got no problem with Georgia, Florida, LSU and Auburn (love that stirring 3-2 win over Miss. St.) rounding out the top five. However, the SEC needs to get on board with trying some nifty "ball plays" like fake field goals while dominating an outclassed rival. Question: Might it be better to save such gimmick plays for when they make a difference? As for "closet expert,"... the ChatMeister gave out Southern Cal and Mizzou as "investments" last week. We're out of the closet, baby!!!