It pains me to see people drinking most "Light" beers, the watered-down versions of already-bland, mass-produced lagers.
"Why are you doing that?" I think.
Unless your home is a frat house, buying a 30-pack cube of light-beer cans should be embarrassing. What do you get for the $18 you just spent? Probably a long night of bathroom visits and a hangover the next day. What you won't get: flavor, satisfaction or dignity.
And I don't want to hear the argument that you're saving calories. If that's what you're looking for, drink soda water instead. Because, by the time you drink enough light beers to get a buzz on, odds are you will have consumed just as many calories as if you'd had a few "regular" beers.
(I should acknowledge that, in a Go! story last year about barbecued ribs, I suggested Bud Light as a good beer pairing for one of the racks. It may sound hypocritical, but I stand by that statement. Call it St. Louis pride, but in my opinion Bud Light is the best light-beer option among the Big Three — Bud, Miller, Coors — and has a place in situations where no other choices are available.)
I think people who buy "Light" beers would be surprised to know they could find similar qualities — light body, low alcohol and crisp finish — in several local and domestic craft beers that offer a world more flavor than their 30-pack counterparts.
Here are four "Light" beers to avoid and four light-bodied beers to try, along with their calories per 12-ounce serving.
Avoid: Amstel Light (95 calories)
This is a case where I'd categorize the original beer — Amstel Lager — as "not bad." Unfortunately, its lighter sibling got none of the family's good genes. Amstel Light tastes like water-soaked stale bread. It's also over-carbonated, spiking my mouth with millions of tiny, astringent bullets.
Try: Sam Adams Light (119 calories)
One of the few beers labeled "Light" that actually delivers flavor, Sam Adams Light has an aroma that hints of the zippy hops and toasty malts inside the body of this lager. The rich mouthfeel is almost as full as in Samuel Adams Boston Lager. As far as "Light" beers go, this is among the best.
Avoid: Beck's Premier Light (64 calories)
I thought it was hard to beat Heineken for the top spot on my list of worst imported beers, but Beck's Premier Light does it. Like the original Beck's, the light version is grainy and skunky. At 2.3 percent alcohol by volume, it's hard to even consider this a beer.
Try: Amalgamated Helles (160 calories)
Amalagamated Brewing Co. has this German-style, easy-drinking lager ("helles" means "a light one" in German) on draft at its Benton Park brewpub, the Stable. The beer is malty yet well-balanced with the presence of hops and yeast. Helles delivers a smooth mouthfeel that will please any light-beer drinker.
Avoid: Corona Light (105 calories)
I don't care if you're on a beach with an endless supply of lime wedges — neither sun nor citrus can change the fact that this is a terrible beer. Thanks to its clear bottle, which allows it to be attacked by light, beer's worst enemy, Corona Light is almost always skunked. There is no flavor here, just a slight sulphur tang that even a lime can't mask.
Try: O'Fallon Gold (140 calories)
For the first two years after O'Fallon Brewery opened in 2000, the only thing owners Tony and Fran Caradonna brewed was Gold, a blonde ale that they sold exclusively in St. Charles County. The beer remains as a year-round offering in O'Fallon's now-expanded lineup. I like the way its combination of malts and kölsch yeast produce a clean, light-bodied and refreshing flavor.
Avoid: Miller Lite (96 calories)
My least favorite of the Big Three, Miller Lite claims to be "triple-hops brewed," but the only thing I can detect coming out of a new Vortex bottle is corn-flavored sparkling water with a gritty, metallic aftertaste. No thanks.
Try: Schlafly Pilsner (170 calories)
This pale-golden lager gets its spicy, grassy aroma from being dry-hopped with Polish Lublin hops, a process the St. Louis Brewery added to its Pilsner last year. Sweet, malty notes lead the way in flavor, with mild hops returning for a crisp, dry finish. With 4.8 percent alcohol by volume and low bitterness, Pilsner is a perfect session beer for the start of the NFL season this weekend.
