The makers of "Journey 2: The Mysterious Island" were trying to dress it up as an adventure classic, the kind with colorful characters and wondrous creatures in an exotic locale. And they would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for us meddling geezers.

Anyone old enough to have read Jules Verne or seen the way his work was successfully adapted in the past will suffer worse than the kids in the audience who just came to laugh.

Although it borrows its title from an 1874 Verne novel, the story is set in the present. Yet no effort is made to connect this sequel with 2008's equally uninspired "Journey of the Center of the Earth," in which modern teen Sean Anderson (Josh Hutcherson) explored a subterranean world with his uncle (Brendan Fraser). Now a senior in high school, Sean's living in Ohio with his mom (Kristen Davis) and Navy-vet stepdad, Hank (Dwayne Johnson).

When restless Sean intercepts a coded dispatch from the uncharted South Pacific, he's convinced it's an invitation from explorer granddad Alexander. So, with nary a peep from Mom, he decides to fly halfway around the world, and the inexplicably deep-pocketed Hank goes along for the ride.

On the nearest inhabited island, they charter a helicopter from fly-by-night tour guide Gabato (unbearable comic relief Luis Guzman) and his foxy-but-feisty daughter Kailani (Vanessa Hudgens).

Mysterious Island turns out to be a paradise, with one human inhabitant: free-spirited septuagenarian Alexander (Michael Caine). But Hank deduces that the volcano that's spewing gold nuggets will capsize the island in about, oh, two hours, so they have to race across a jungle of giant creatures and find a fabled submarine that will whisk them to safety.

Half a century ago, when Verne novels such as "20,000 Leagues Under the Sea" were brought to life by stop-motion animator Ray Harryhausen, the effect was enchanting. Now 3-D digital trickery is so commonplace, even the characters seem bored by it. Notwithstanding that "Journey 2" is escapist entertainment for kids, nobody's behavior here is remotely rooted in human DNA.

Johnson is a likable, larger-than-life personality, and Caine is a legend, so when we see them marooned on this island of misfit ideas, we wish there was a time machine for a do-over.

---

"Journey 2: The Mysterious Island"

One and a half stars (out of four) • Rating PG • Run time 1:34 • Content Peril and rude humor