Dear Carolyn • I'm madly in love with my caring, funny and stable boyfriend of over a year. We've been relatively drama-free, despite being long-distance the entire time. We were good friends before datingbut I've had issues in the past year assimilating some of the information I learned as a "friend" in my current role as the "girlfriend" — e.g., a good friend he referred to once as "the one who got away" in a night of drinking pre-dating, whom he's currently visiting in another town. Or information about our dating histories that we might have otherwise sugarcoated in retelling a significant other, but shared gory details with since we were pals.

To be clear, it's not jealousy I wrestle with; it's more information overload. Is it odd that I almost wish I knew less? — Blissful(ish) but not ignorant

Answer • No, but I don't think less knowledge is what you need, especially since you (I think rightly) cite your gory-details friendship as a source of your relationship's strength. If anything, you need other, complementary stuff out in the open.

First, tell your boyfriend when he's sugarcoating a truth you've already heard. "Er, (Boyfriend)? Remember, I've already heard that story. Unabridged."

Next, ask for more information on the stuff that doesn't sit right. For example, if his visiting "the one who got away" bugs you, then you need(ed) to tell him (preferably pre-trip) that you want to be the cool girlfriend and high-five this friendship, but you can't shake the memory of his drunken pining for her. It's not either-or, silent sufferer or jealous harpy.

The next bit of information I think you'll want to add: what it's like for you to be together. As in, not long-distance.

tellme@washpost.com