Dear Abby • "She Has a Name in Georgia" complained that the care staff at the assisted living community where her mother lives calls her "Granny," "Grandma" and "Mamma." She found it disrespectful, and I agree.

I am an R.N. with two advanced nursing degrees. Calling a resident "Granny," "Dear" or "Honey" is not loving or caring. It is degrading, humiliating and hurtful! It does not matter what the ethnicity of the attendant is; there are standards of conduct and patient's rights. I suggest "She Has a Name" ask the director of the facility for copies of the standards of care and patient's rights documents.

The family may want to install a "nanny cam" in the room. There are many fine communities where care of the residents is professionally and caringly provided. I hope they are able to find one for their mother. — Retired R.N. and Resident Advocate

Dear R.N. • Thank you for sharing your expertise on this subject. Other health care professionals responded similarly, and I stand corrected. My newspaper readers comment:

Dear Abby • During school and in clinical rotations, we were repeatedly instructed to call clients by their names, especially in situations where memory was impaired. Not only does it help to reorient the patient as to who they are and help them to maintain their identity, but it provides a clear separation as to who is family and who is the caregiver.

The director should not have diminished the importance of the family's feelings on this matter. I suggest they consider relocating their mother. — Caregiver in Florida

 

Dear Abby • The assisted living staff should not be calling her mother by those names. The legal term is "elder speak," or as it is commonly known — baby talk. It is detrimental to their care and contributes to "ageism," a process in which elders are perceived as less valuable than others.

The family was right to speak up and, regardless of cultural considerations, the staff and director should respect their wishes and refer to their mother by her appropriate name. — Shocked R.N. in Calgary, Canada

 

Dear Abby • In Michigan, health care professionals are expected to call patients by name. In fact, my nephew was once called into his boss' office at the hospital and reprimanded when she overheard him say to a patient, "I'll show you the way to the X-ray unit, Grandma." He was forgiven when he explained that the patient he was escorting was actually his real grandmother! — Just Call Me By Name

 

Write Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, Calif. 90069.

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