When Mike worked as a computer-aided design technician in London, he traveled extensively for his job and met his future wife at a training conference in Las Vegas. After a yearlong courtship, he emigrated from London in June 2006, and he and Melanie were married the following month. The processing for obtaining his permanent resident card and being able to work in the U.S. took much longer than either of them anticipated.

In the process, Mike fell into the role of full-time father and talks about the transition from a demanding career to raising a demanding baby.

Why did it take so long to get your green card once you were married?

We were led to believe that once we were married, it would be as easy as producing our marriage certificate plus my visa to become a permanent resident and allow me to work. It didn't work out quite as easily as that. It took a year for them to recognize the application. I couldn't work, and I wanted to work. I couldn't leave this country. If I left, our marriage and my visa were null and void.

What was your plan once you finally obtained permission to work and your permanent residency?

I was seriously looking for work. But then, everything with the economy was starting to go downhill. There were not too many opportunities or the types of positions I was looking for. At the same time, we found out Melanie was pregnant. She's got a good job at Barnes-Jewish. We decided it would be better financially and from the health care point of view, that she stay where she was working. We definitely didn't want Declan to go to day care as a young baby. She was allowed 12 weeks off. I was taking Ty to school every morning, and I was there for him every evening. Sure, the extra money if I returned to work would be nice. But the benefits the kids are getting in this moment are much greater. And to get really good day care, it isn't cheap.

How long do you plan to stay at home full-time?

We decided that with Declan, if we can hang out until he's 3, he can go to day care when he reaches that age. We knew it would help prepare him for kindergarten. We decided on 3 also because Melanie will finish her bachelor's degree by then.

When did you realize that your priorities had changed?

Declan was three weeks old, and I had to attend an education course. During that period of time, it made me realize, that it wasn't my priority. My priority was to be at home. I resigned from the voluntary board I served on. The conference was only four or five days, but after the second day, I was thinking, "Why am I here? My wife just had a baby."

Since then, I haven't spent a day away from Declan. I've been privileged to see everything, from the first time he rolled to the first time he walked.

What was most surprising about becoming a full-time parent?

How much work it is and how hard it is. Deep down I thought, I've got the easy end of the stick. Melanie has to get up and go to work every morning, and I'm at home with a little baby. That might be true for the first two months — at most. He was basically, eating and sleeping. But, once you get past that stage, they want interaction. They're up a lot more. I made a choice that he was not allowed to watch TV until he was 15 or 16 months old. I didn't realize how demanding a little one can be and how much time they take up.

What have some of the rewards been?

The physical bond you have with your children. I can't describe exactly what that is. I think Melanie is envious. Declan has a closer bond with me at the moment. He loves his mommy, but if there's a problem or if he's upset, he'll come to me first.

If she was at home, and I was working, it would be reverse.

What it's given me back is the total innocence of a child and how they see things, so black and white and simple. Life shouldn't be complicated. Everything is fun and new and exciting. If there is something they haven't seen before, you see their face, and it's the greatest thing in the world. Seeing that has made me more appreciative of what we've got rather than what we haven't got.

Will it be a difficult transition to go back to work?

When I do go back to work, I'm not going back for myself. I'll be going back so our children can have certain things and opportunities. I'm sure it will be difficult. But, I'm realizing I need a new challenge. It might be heart-wrenching for Declan, for a little bit. But, it's not as traumatic as taking an 8-week-old baby and giving him to a stranger and saying, "I'll see you in eight hours." We've had to sacrifice certain things. It will be nice to have the extra money. We'd like to be able to every once or two years, take the kids and go over to Europe. That would be a big benefit for them.