I'm proud to share magazine space with my fellow columnists, but it's a little daunting.

Varying by the month, stlmomsanddads has a librarian writing about books, a film critic father-and-son team interviewing actual celebrities, and a real-life, professional therapist. Even more intimidating, we've got two moms, one of whom is also an author and pediatrician. Moms always know everything.

And then there's me, a loving husband, father of four and a cautionary tale in the making. But that doesn't stop me from sharing.

This month, I'm going to answer your questions in the style of Dennis O'Brien, who even sounds like he can solve your problems. If you're anything like me, these are your questions anyway.

Q. There are seven days in a week and my daughter has two feet. Why are there either zero or 87 socks in the laundry?

A. Sounds like something involving new math. Schedule a parent-teacher conference.

Q. I'm concerned that our twin sons develop their own personalities. To what extent should we allow them to share clothing?

A. One kid per pair of underpants at any given time is our house rule. Beyond that, whatever's clean.

Q. My kids have frequent ear infections, but they really fight taking medicine and getting eye drops. Any suggestions?

A. Explain suppositories.

Q. My teenage son seems distant and spends a lot of time alone in his room wearing earphones and not socializing with the family. What should I do?

A. Celebrate. Teenagers often are loud and a little smelly. Reconnect with him in his early 20s.

Q. My children spend a lot of time on the computer. How can I make sure they're safe?

A. Put the computer in a central, well-trafficked part of the house, install any free Internet security filter and carefully review browser history. And don't plug it in. Ever.

Q. My children don't seem to do chores or take responsibility like I did as a child. How can I improve the situation?

A. Talk to your parents. You weren't nearly as good as you think.

Q. We have three boys and a smelly bathroom. How can I ensure they are, well, properly "focused" when using the facilities?

A. Use basketball references. A bank shot and a swish are equally good. Not so much in the bathroom. Also, dribbling is better on courts than on shorts.

Q. My four young kids bicker often. What can I do to instill more family unity?

A. Overcoming difficult challenges together breeds a sense of team, such as when one family member is invited to clean the bathroom of the parent in the previous question.

Q. A parent's love for a child should grow more every day. The day my kid put a bean tostada in the DVD player, I'm not sure my love grew. Is something wrong with me?

A. You're fine. You loved your kid more at the end of that day, too. You just didn't like him so much.

Q. Parenting seems part-art and part-science. How do I know if I'm doing it right?

A. It's easy. Twenty years from now, see if your kid is a decent human being. For now, when you're in the thick of it, you do it by feel. And right now, for some reason, I feel like having a microwave-warmed bean tostada.

Final Notes

To my more knowledgeable fellow parenting columnists, I tip my hat. Your job is a hard one that, clearly, not just anyone can do. To parents in the trenches, yours is harder still.

And to the kids who keep us all busy, thanks for the love, the learning and the laughs.

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Dave Bundy is publisher and executive editor of the Suburban Journals of Greater St. Louis. He can be reached at dbundy@yourjournal.com or (314) 744-5772.