Q: My 12-year-old daughter has been asking to have cosmetic surgery since she was 8. The names and teasing she endures for a rather large nose have been highly stressful, frustrating and embarrassing for her, not to mention constantly chipping away at her self-esteem. Our family physician recently chimed in with a relatively positive message, which was favorable toward the rhinoplasty. My daughter became quite excited when he told us that she is at a good age to pursue the surgery. My husband and I are just wondering if other parents have gone through this with a child at this young age and how they currently feel about the outcome. We'd feel more comfortable knowing the dos and do nots of the process from beginning to end before making our final decision.

A: My son was called many bad and derogatory nicknames even in preschool. He was bullied and made fun of until we could finally arrange rhinoplasty surgery for him at the age of 15. That's a long time for a child to have to go through all of the name-calling and depleted self-esteem. He ended up being treated for depression, and there was nothing we could do to help other than to simply be there physically and emotionally when he wanted and needed our support. Although we tried to get it done earlier, we couldn't find even one surgeon to agree to the procedure. However, we are very satisfied with the overall success. He is now 20 and has a happy, full life that he deserved the whole time. — F.G. in Washington, D.C.

FROM JODIE:

After looking into it, it seems to me that it would be best for your daughter to wait until the age of 13. By this age, at least 90 percent of the anticipated growth in her nose should be completed. Rhinoplasty, as I'm sure you know, is the reshaping of the nose and currently ranks as one of the most requested procedures by teenagers. However, the success rate is higher if the teen is at least 13 for girls and 15 for boys. For specific recommendations and suggestions in considering this type of surgery, call the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery on their toll-free referral line: 1-888-27297711). They can help with assessing the situation. Additionally, visit surgery.org for more valid information.

CAN YOU HELP?

Our 8-year-old son doesn't read at his grade level and will be placed in a remedial reading group for the first half of this school year. He can re-enter his regular class for this subject if he progresses accordingly; if not, he will continue to be pulled out for the second half of the year as well. He is embarrassed, angry and basically acts out in class and school, and is now even mean to his friends. How can we help him deal with the situation better without constantly reprimanding him about his behavior?

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