I take a deep breath before heading up my street to Kate's door. Hopefully, the third time is a charm. My dog and I walk up the hill, knock and wait. This time, Kate opens the door and looks at me.

"Hi, could I talk to you?" I ask. My heart beats hard and loud. I feel so terrible and I've thought about righting this wrong for some time.

"Sure," Kate responds and comes outside. The dog sits down.

"I want to apologize for being such a witch," I say. Before I can go on, Kate says, "Apology accepted."

No questions, no concerns. Just a simple apology accepted. I could never do that! I hold a grudge ... always have.

I begin again. "I want to explain." Once more, Kate says, "You don't need to. Thank you for apologizing. You don't have to say it anymore and we can be friends again."

I finally blurt out the serpentine route of my convoluted emotion, ending with, "I was just so upset."

Kate's understanding answer echoes loudly. "I'm glad you're here and now we can be friends! I really like you and your family and I'm glad we can move on." She proves it. She arranges a night-out for the three of us involved. I am relieved Kate truly feels this way.

So WHO is this nice and forgiving? Most grownups, I think, reflecting guiltily on my own imperfection. I hope that I also can simply accept an apology and move on with life.

"I'm sorry" are two of the hardest words to say — for so many reasons. Admitting you are wrong is very hard. Consequences may be harder. And don't forget about feelings. Saying "I'm sorry" means someone's feelings were hurt. In my experience, un-hurting someone's feelings is very difficult.

When my kids were little, I read that it is better to ask, "Are you OK?" — instead of forcing them to say, "I'm sorry," even it is clearly needed. In theory, a kid who recognizes the need to ask if someone is okay eventually realizes his or her actions/words/lack of words hurt someone else.

To this day, my kids ask others if they are OK, even if they are not the ones who caused the hurt. For me, admitting fault is most difficult. However, people who live in the land of grownups sometimes must say "I'm sorry," no matter what consequences or aftermath results. This is life and stuff happens.

I never want to hurt anyone's feelings and, in return, I prefer my feelings not be hurt. Thinking long and hard about it, hurting my kids becomes a point of no return for me.

Interestingly, my kids do not react this way. I have observed both my kids accept apologies, in the "light" form of negative behavior ceasing, and move on. Joe once said to me, "Mom! I've moved on. Yeah, the guy is a jerk, but I'm not." During the same school year, I saw Jessie offer kindness to someone who had not treated her that way. When I asked about it in a roundabout way, Jessie shrugged, "She needed help. I had the homework."

I would love to be that way. I would love to shrug off hurt feelings quickly and easily. I am grateful my kids didn't inherit my grudge-holding. Looking at the future, as a pay-it-forward kind of thing, I want to be able to accept an apology when offered. I want to be as gracious as Kate was to me. I think she would like that.living two years apart. It stirred up more talk, questions, amid even more food and laughter, until nobody could keep her eyes open.

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Pam Wilson lives in suburbia, and while she has no idea how she wound up there, is enjoying the journey. She has a 14-year-old son and a 11-year-old daughter. Pam has a bachelor's in family and child development and a master's in social work. She is an outdoor girl, an avid reader, enjoys biking and baking, loves to hang out with friends and has determined that chocolate can indeed solve most of life's problems.