Volcanic Kansas State University basketball coach Frank Martin brings his hard-working squad to Mizzou Arena for perhaps the last time Tuesday night.

Will Missouri fans hear a blue stream of profanity as he rebukes his players during time-outs? Or will Martin adhere to his earlier pledge to curb his sideline language?

He had this message for Kansas State fans earlier this season, in advance of the Kansas Jayhawks' visit to the “Octogon of Doom”:

"None of us are perfect. I continue to work at correcting the mistakes I have made. Moreover, I have done things I wish I could take back. However, in life you can't go backwards but you can always get better from the lessons. One thing that I have worked hard at improving is the language that I use at games and eliminating these moments. I cannot allow my competitiveness to blind me from the fact that I represent you, the great students of a university of higher education. As a father, and an educator, there is no place for this at any event in which I am representing K-State."

ESPN.com smart aleck DJ Gallo believed this decision could have dire implications for K-State.

Frank Martin is simply not Frank Martin without cursing. What is he even doing in the locker room at halftime of the Wildcats' recent games? Just shaking with rage in the corner for 10 minutes before yelling: "CHEESE AND CRACKERS!" so loud the walls crack?

Frank Martin must curse. He is a basketball coaching Samson and his hair is long, flowing streams of expletives.

It is no doubt admirable that Martin is trying to lead KSU fans by example. Admirable, but stupid. His email to fans should have read a little more like this:

“Stop using profanity in the stands. 'But Coach, you curse!' you might be saying. Yes, yes I do. A lot. It's pretty much my favorite thing to do. But I am an adult, you are college kids. There are things adults can do that kids can't. This is not complicated. When you were 5, your dad probably didn't let you drink beer just because he did, right? So knock it the @%&$ off with the cursing or I'm going to come into the stands and beat the living @%&$ out of all of you.”

That would have been more effective and Martin wouldn't have lost all of his powers. Gosh, it's a real shame it didn't go down that way.

ANSWER FOR IVERSON: INDOOR SOCCER?

Out on the fringe of professional sports, minor franchises like to mock the suffering of sports celebrities by offering them contracts and building promotional nights around them.

An indoor soccer team, the Rochester Lancers, reached out to cash-poor former NBA star Allen Iverson via a news release. In part, it read:

The Rochester Lancers host two remaining regular season home games to conclude their season.  The offer stands at $20,000 per game, with a bonus of $5,000 per goal scored, win bonuses, and merchandise bonuses.  There are over 12 goals scored on average per game.

“Allen Iverson is one of the premier athletes of our time," said Rich Randall, Vice President of the Rochester Lancers.  "With his athleticism and competitive hunger, I think he can be a great fit with our team and fans as we make an important playoff push, while also driving interest to an exciting, growing sport.”

If accepted, the Lancers have also offered to host his friends and family through the duration of his stay.  With the per-game pay and bonuses, this offer will come close to the offer (per game) set by Turkish basketball team, Besiktas and ultimately keeping him in the United States.

Iverson has discussed resuming his basketball career in Puerto Rico of the NBA's D-League, so anything is possible.

MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE

Questions to ponder while wondering if the Blues will find ways to win more games away from Scottrade Center:

Who are the smartest athletes in professional sports?

Now that Jeremy Lin has torn up a Dallas defense designed to stop him, should we all sing his praises?

And will we learn to quit making racially insensitive quips?

Who wouldn't you want to caddy for Natalie Gulbis?

QUIPS ‘R US

Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:

Tom Verducci, SI.com: “Baseball, with its expanded postseason (which will expand again), surge in local television money and ease of movement in assets (players, executives, information, etc.), has a higher churn rate than ever. Expect the unexpected. (Stan) Musial never left St. Louis and Robin Yount never left Milwaukee, but Albert Pujols said goodbye to the Cardinals and Prince Fielder departed the Brewers -- and neither of them wound up in the Philadelphia-New York-Boston corridor that has become the financial power base of the sport. Likewise, the Phillies, Yankees and Red Sox can't claim one of the three most intriguing newcomers, either, with pitcher Yu Darvish signing with Texas and outfielder Yoenis Cespedes with Oakland and teenaged outfielder Bryce Harper arriving with Washington.”

Norman Chad, Washington Post: “The NBA all-star break is this weekend. How can this be? It seems like the season began maybe a week or so ago. But when a greed-infested labor dispute results in a condensed schedule, this is what you get — the All-Star Game this Sunday, the playoffs start the following weekend and Jeremy Lin, I believe, will be inducted into the Basketball Hall of Fame early next month. Boy, time flies when you’re having to make up a lot of lost revenue in a short period.”

Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel: “True story: There are actually 8 million dead people who are still registered to vote. And 12 of them are on the roster of the Charlotte Bobcats.”

Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “New Dolphins offensive coordinator Mike Sherman and defensive chief Kevin Coyle are optimistic and like what they see of the team's direction. That's fantastic. I will pay, from my own pocket, the first newly hired coach in any sport who publicly expresses pessimism. I want to see the headline, 'Sherman, Coyle doubt team's direction.' Or, 'Dolphins' new coordinators not hopeful.' By the way, new coach Joe Philbin has 21 assistant coaches on his staff. Lot of specialists there. I think the backup long snapper has his own coach.”

MEGAPHONE

“This was not how I wanted to start the 2012 season. I've never been upside down in one of these cars. The hit to the wall was much harder than the rest of it. The roll was pretty soft and pretty easy. The protection we have inside of these cars is amazing because I didn't even hardly feel any of it. The toughest part is when you're laying upside down and you can't get out of the car. The roof was caved in a little bit and that was no fun.”

The other Jeff Gordon, after a colorful wreck at Daytona.