Shouldn’t there be a law against Terrell Owens playing on the same team as Chad Ochocino?
Ochocinco and T.O. are friends away from the field. (See related video). Put putting them on the same team . . . well, that could put humanity at risk. Their colliding egos could throw the Earth off its axis.
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is wondering that today. Perhaps his people are combing through the Cincinnati ordinances, Ohio statutes and federal law just to make sure.
While Rams management mulled over the possibility of signing T.O. – a move that would be totally out of character for this regime -- Ochocinco escalated his campaign to land with the Bengals.
He sent this tweet to ESPN on-air host Trey Wingo: “im pushing for T.O. with the lil bit of power and influence i have with out org. That will help us tremendously as a team,” adding “im out of the loop now, i expressed my beliefs on why he should be here and that’s all i can do, #9 has the real power.”
No. 9 is, of course, quarterback Carson Palmer. If Palmer pushes for T.O. too, how can the team say no?
Owens, meanwhile, is cooling his heels while NFL training camps start up around the country.
“It has to be the right situation for me,” Owens told NFL Network's Stacey Dales Friday. “I'm going in on my 15th season, so I want to go to a team that's on the cusp of making it to the playoffs and really having a team really want me and feel that I can come in and be an asset to their ballclub. Other than that, I'm still working out and keeping myself in shape, and I'll be ready.”
Sounds like he is just using the Rams to coax a deal out of the Bengals, but we’ll see.
As for Ochocinco, he spent the summer building his brand over multiple platforms. CBSSports.com columnist Gregg Doyel took a dim view of that:
“Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco isn't just a Bengals receiver. He's an app designer for the iPhone. He's an actor in an R&B video. He's a dancer on network television, and just this month he became a reality TV star on cable. NFL training camp starts later this week, but Ochocinco is more than an NFL player -- he's a Renaissance man, showing the youth of America that a person need not be pigeon-holed into one tight little category. I hope the youth of America isn't watching. Because Ochocinco is delivering a dangerous message.”
SPEAKING OF WR DIVAS . . .
Cowboys rookie Dez Bryant welcomed himself to the receiving fraternity by failing to follow a time-honored tradtition. He refused to carry a veteran’s pads after a training camp session.
In this case he rebuffed the man he is trying to supplant as starter, Roy Williams.
“I'm not doing it,” Bryant told reporters. “I feel like I was drafted to play football, not carry another player's pads.
“If I was a free agent, it would still be the same thing. I just feel like I'm here to play football. I'm here to try to help win a championship, not carry someone's pads. I'm saying that out of no disrespect to [anyone].”
Coach Wade Phillips runs a loose ship. And Cowboys owner Jerry Jones loves Bryant, so the kid can do whatever he wants. The fun has just begun.
MYSTERIES OF THE UNIVERSE
Questions to ponder while wondering if "Caddyshack" is the greatest movie ever made:
Is Felipe Lopez back in good graces with Tony La Russa?
Should the Cardinals equip outfielder Matt Holliday with GPS when he gets on base?
Why didn't the Diamondbacks get more for sending Danny Haren to the Angels?
WHY WE LOVE RON ARTEST
The free-spirited Laker might show up at the gym and play dodge ball with you.
QUIPS ‘R US
Here is what some of America’s leading sports pundits have been writing:
Greg Cote, Miami Herald: “Remember those Walmart commercials where the prices on the signs kept getting lower and lower? Shaquille O'Neal, free agent.”
Mike Bianchi, Orlando Sentinel, on once-great coach Steve Spurrier: “All you need to know about Spurrier's pedestrian five years at South Carolina is this: He opened up his address at SEC Media Days here Thursday by bragging about his team's high graduation rate and low arrest rate . . . Have we entered an alternative universe? Who is this guy up at the podium — the iconic former coach of the University of Florida or the current coach of Vanderbilt?”
Jerry Greene, ESPN.com: “Yankees GM Brian Cashman said New York is not looking for another starting pitcher. That's like Larry King saying he's not looking for another wife.”
David Whitley, FanHouse: “The Steroid Era may have ended in baseball. It's just beginning for the Hall of Fame. The Hall has managed to shun Mark McGwire so far, but he was a lone and trailblazing pariah. Pretty much everybody on the ballot for the next 20 years will be an admitted or suspected juicer. Some, like (Rafael) Palmeiro, we're sure of. Others, like (Jeff) Bagwell, may merely be guilty by association. They'll headline next year's questionable class of candidates. Then in 2013 the Three Horsemen of the Hall of Fame Apocalypse arrive on the ballot. (Barry) Bonds, Roger Clemens, Sammy Sosa. How can they get in? How can they not?”
Mike Lupica, New York Daily News: “Nobody will ever dispute the amount of money Lance Armstrong has raised with his fight against cancer. But these days, with the allegations about him using performance-enhancing drugs as strong as ever, Armstrong seems to use ‘Livestrong’ as a way of changing the subject. And the problem for Armstrong is that Jeff Novitzky, the fed who's gotten into his life now, only changes the subject when he wants to. He's also real hard to out-race, no matter how fast your bike is. Or how much of a humanitarian you are.”
MEGAPHONE
“We’ve got to do something about these Sundays. We’ve been shut out three Sundays in a row. We’ve got to score on Sunday.”
Reds manager Dusty Baker.
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