"Twilight" might have been the most successful show ever on the CW network, a fitting companion piece to "Supernatural," with its attractive leads, high school setting, snappy dialogue and lack of big stars.

Instead, it will have to settle on being this weekend's box office winner and the biggest vampire romance movie of all time.

If only there were more to the highly anticipated film than what's here. Not that its teen fans will mind, or even realize, that this defanged vampire tale is lifeless.

In "Twilight," dreamy vampire Edward (winning British actor Robert Pattinson, missing an upper lip) falls for Bella (Kristen Stewart, also good), a new student shipped from Phoenix to live with her father in the small town of Forks, Wash.

Bella and Edward's attraction has a bumpy start but intensifies quickly, even as she notices he's a little different. His skin is ice cold, his eyes change colors, he's unusually pale, he has superhuman strength and speed and he has issues with daylight.

Such dead giveaways, and some help from Google, lead Bella to the conclusion that Edward is a 90-year-old vampire.

He confesses deep in the woods, which is where you want to be with a vampire who has just admitted he thirsts for your blood and doesn't know whether he can control himself. Instead of bolting, Bella rides piggyback as he climbs sky-high trees in an effects-driven sequence that's not very special.

If their situation wasn't complicated enough, they also have to contend with a rogue trio of bloodsuckers, and one wants to drain Bella.

Director Catherine Hardwicke ("Thirteen") took the easiest route possible with this surprisingly low-key effort that's a bit of a snooze. None of this, however, will get in the way of its intended audience.

kjohnson@post-dispatch.com — 314-340-8191

PG-13 — 2:02 — Contains some violence and a scene of sensuality